Missing Cows and the Pepperoni Mystery

Beautiful Goats. No Cows.

I just spent three weeks in Italy and not once did I see a cow.

Not one cow!

We drove through Tuscany and the most we saw was a herd of goats.

Beautiful, tan-coloured goats but no substitute for a cow.

I’m concerned the cows have been put aside in boxes and the land entirely given over to the whims of the free range grape.

The wine did taste very happy.

It made me very happy at least, until it made me sad and then I mourned the missing cows.

The real concern however was the lack of Pepperoni on my pizza.

I opted for a ‘Rustica’, confident that I understood the ingredients it promised.

Aglio (garlic) Cipolla (onion) Caperes (capers) Pepperone (Do I really need to translate?)

But when it arrived I was shocked to find there was nothing on it!

Well there was garlic and onions and capers – but come on, they weren’t the reasons I chose the pizza. It was about as exciting as a Margerita!

It was all made worse by my husband’s choice of a ‘Disco’ which was one whole meaty pizza covered by another whole meaty pizza.

I was supposed to be on holiday not Vegan bootcamp!

I got up to review the menu and found that I hadn’t been seeing things. It definitely said ‘Peperone’.

So I pointed this out to the waitress who responded as expected, ‘Aaaaah! Peperone! Peperonci!’

Which I imagine was a bit like saying, ‘Ah, You say pot-ay-to, I say po-tah-to!’

Relieved the spiciness was on its way I settled back to watch my husband take on the challenge of 2 pizzas in 1.

Ten minutes later the Chef turned up with my pizza, all smiles and eager to please.

I thanked him graciously before looking down at my plate to find that now added to the garlic, onion and capers was chopped YELLOW PEPPERS!

Really? Would someone really love yellow peppers that much to insist on having them added after?

Sometimes you have to learn the hard way.

It turns out Pepperoni is a corruption of Peperoni, the plural of Peperone, the Italian word for pepper, NOT SAUSAGE.

If you want Pepperoni then ask for Salamino Picante.

And that, dear readers, is about as educational as this blog gets.

Now, would someone like to tell me where those cows went?