Wednesday, 5 December 2012

The Last of My Twenties



I turned 29 on Friday.

Two days prior I’d lain in bed staring up at the ceiling, feeling dissatisfied by this turn of events

Why did it bother me so much? I suppose I felt I hadn’t really worn out 28, or for that matter, 27. It seemed a bit wasteful, like throwing that plastic spoon away after one little stir of your takeaway coffee.

It’s a condition, getting grumpy about birthdays, passed on from my Dad. He doesn’t think much of aging. In fact he laughs in its face as does my 94 year old grandmother who has never displayed a grey hair in her life.

‘You can’t do much about it,’ people say. But I’m not so sure. A woman who used to work in our shop was 59 for six, long years so clearly she knew something.

I could have a baby at this age and it wouldn’t even be a shock. That shocks me.

What would I do if I had a baby?  

Write baby books?

If you think about it, being the target market a baby would be able to give me great tips. I’d have to decipher their gurgles of course but I’m sure there’s a self-published, ‘How to interpret your Baby’s Gurgles’ on kindle that I could download.  

I’m always curious to hear how writers cope with writing and looking after children.  I’ve got an image of a Big-Me and Mini-Me working side by side, me at big desk, Mini-Me at tiny desk and we’re both scribbling. Of course there is no nappy changing and the only one doing the crying is me, because I’m stuck on a chapter. Mini-Me is holding it together very nicely in fact. 

Wishful thinking? Not really. I’ve said it before I don’t want a child of mine chasing a career in the arts. No one wants to bring up a tortured soul, do they?

Back to the sad topic at hand: the last of my twenties and how I’m going to deal with it. My plan is to buy a sword, wear green for the foreseeable future, befriend a male fairy called Tinkerballs and fight pirates. Yes, it sounds pretty failure proof to me too.

If you’ve got any better suggestions, let me know.  

Before I embark on my end of twenties crisis however, I’m going to The States to spend my first Christmas ever away from home. This year I’ll be spending it with my husband’s family which is exciting as they know how to have a good time.

I’m sure we’ll do very Christmassy things like cut down a tree, wear garish knitwear and spike Santa’s milk. So, if you don’t hear from me here, you now know it’s either because I’m caught up in fairy lights or chasing Pirates around The White House with a sawn off pine tree.

I will continue to be showing signs of life on Wattpad with regular updates of my serialised novel SPRAY PAINTED BANANAS and as a Guest blogger for Mslexia Magazine.

So, toodle-pip for now and may your Christmas be full of pleasant surprises. 




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8 comments:

Isabel Rogers said...

Enjoy it! After you've had the babies you're too tired to remember how old you are anyway.

BenMBlackman said...

As I've said before, if you're only 29, you mean nothing to me.
Funny though that, for my daughter (3.75 years old) I'd do anything for her to be an artist (anything creative in my mind: making; designing; painting; music; writing;...anything) rather than work in an office.
She'll probably be the next female Prime Minister though.

Shop Girl said...

Sounds great Isabel! Ha.

Oh Ben, it never occurred to me that they might work in an office. I was thinking more along the lines of off road motor racing, extreme ice skater, dog trainer, chef, gardener and so on. Just not a tortured writer!

I think Mr ShopGirl has the best job. He works as a sound engineer, clever, creative and well paid!

cyclingwithheels said...

Ah...29. You're still a young 'un. Enjoy it! And remember, you've still got plenty to look forward to...life doesn't stop when you turn 30 - it just gets better.

Shop Girl said...

Phew! Thanks Jude! That's a relief. although that said, isn't the world supposed to ending next Wednesday? Eeek.

Lindsay said...

I had one of those baby things when I was 29. Turned out rather well and as it happens she'll be celebrating the final year of her 20s in April! And remember, after your twenties come the flirty thirties, the naughty forties, then the nifty fifties. Not quite sure what's after that!! (Must add that this does not mean Mr ShopGirl has anything to worry about.)

Shop Girl said...

Thanks Lindsay - my panic is fast fading :) I like the sound of nifty fities actually... Do I really have to do them in order?

Anonymous said...

Like cyclingwithheels says....Life just gets better..and specially with a baby...I had my first one at the age of 30 and my life it's never been as busy,happy,fun,amazing and full of light as it is now. He makes our days better and our lifes worth living.
And just think your life this way: you are a succesful and awarded writer before you've reached 30...so you can be really proud of yourself.