10 Reasons to go the Finchley Literary Festival

It's the Finchley Literary Festival's third year and I've crawled out of my writing cave and got involved on the committee. It's taking place on the 24th - 31st May and here are 10 reasons why you should go! 

1. Classy Venue - look at that place! You'll feel like you're in Downton Abbey for the day - Ring for Tea! 

2. Talking of Tea - you get a free cup of the stuff (or coffee) and a Danish pastry with every £5.00 ticket for the main event. 

3. Cheap - yes I did just say only £5.00! Thanks to generous sponsors and a really hardworking committee. 

Rosie Canning

4. Hardworking committee - I regularly get emails from Rosie Canning at 2am. She works too hard and is a wonder. Thanks to lovely people like her there are literary festivals - so let's support them! 

5. Abseiling - no, not for everyone! This is a literary festival not an adventure holiday! But I can't not mention committee member, Bettina von Cossel, who's afraid of heights but is going to be abseiling down Church Langley Water Tower to raise money for the festival! 

Maggie Butt

 6. Miracles - apart from the miracle of overcoming vertigo that is.  I'm talking about the wonderful workshops on offer. People say it's  impossible to get poetry published, but have those people been to  Maggie Butts' Get Your Poetry Published workshop? I think not. 

 7. All inclusive - no previous experience is needed for award-  winning writer, Allen Ashley's, family friendly creative writing    workshop Get Started.  Did I mention it's FREE? 

 8. Child friendly - there are workshops for the kids too including a CliFi* workshop with Sarah Holding, author of the SeaBEAN trilogy! (that's *Climate Fiction to you and me). 

9. Social Media for cheaper - I'll be running a 2 hour workshop for just £15.00 (usual price £45) on developing your online author profile with a focus on blogging and twitter. Afterwards we can get more of that tea I mentioned and talk about your ideas! 

10. For the love of Literature - have I convinced you yet? I haven't even mentioned the authors who are coming to talk...

Alex Wheatle, Caitlin Davies, Rosie Fiore

or the Dragon Pen event (like Dragons' Den but for your WIP) with literary dragons Gillian Stern, Cari Rose and Mary Musker...

... or the literary walk where Paul Baker will point out a former Manor House which is haunted by a suspected lover of Anne Boleyn... OOOooooh... did you hear that? Terrifying, right? But not as terrifying as the thought of missing the festival altogether because you forget to put the dates in your diary! Hurry! 

The Main Event will be held on Saturday 31st May @ 2-6pm 
The £5.00 Ticket includes tea/coffee and a Danish pastry served at Stephens House and Gardens.

For more information, visit the Finchley Literary Festival Blog 

Which Fictional Character to Run Off with?

Harper Impulse posed a very difficult question in my author questionnaire last week: which fictional character would you run off with into the sunset? 

            
Plenty of actors came to mind, Jean Dujardin mainly, Brad Pitt obviously... But a fictional character?  After much deliberation I consulted one of my oldest friends.

            
"I think you're taking it a bit too seriously," she said. She then reminded me of the man we'd both spent our youth watching emerge from a lake in a wet, white shirt. Who? You ask? Mr Darcy, of course! Specifically Mr Darcy played by Colin Firth in BBC's 1995 six episode version of Pride and Prejudice. I have only stopped watching it on repeat because I no longer have a VHS player.

            
It was an obvious choice and yet I wasn't sure. I had not forgotten my crush on the ruggedly handsome Aragorn. He really knew how to push open a big door in a sexy manner.

Curious to know who other people would run off with, I put the same question to my facebook group. "Alice in Wonderland," someone said. I felt a bit ashamed then. How predictable of me to be racking my brain for handsome men. Still, I wouldn't choose Alice. She'd only be fun until the withdrawal symptoms kicked in and she stopped seeing white bunny rabbits drinking tea.

My list of two increased after watching Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. No, not Ewen McGregor's character, but the visionary Sheikh Muhammed joined Darcy and Aragorn on my list. Three men and only one I could ride off with into the sunset. I decided to analyse their strengths and weaknesses to help me make my decision. These are the results:

Mr Darcy	Aragorn	Sheikh Muhammed
Good on a horse (2/3)	Excellent on a horse (3/3)	Good on a horse and most likely better on a camel than the other two (3/3)
Washes once a week (1/3)	Washes once a month (0/3)	Washes every day (3/3)
No previous girlfriends. One disgruntled 'betrothed'  too sick to make a fuss  (2/3)	An immortal ex - girlfriend (1/3)	'Many' wives (0/3)
Very rich (3/3)	Fighting for his riches (1/3)	Ridiculously Rich (downside, he does silly things with his money like introducing Salmon to the Yemen). (2/3)
"Tall person, handsome features, noble mien" (3/3)	- lean, dark and tall, with shaggy dark hair "flecked with grey", grey eyes, and a stern pale face (2/3)	(Looks based on description) Unavailable (0/3)
Awkward in bed (0/3)	Confident in bed (3/3)	Tired in bed, due to having many wives to satisfy (0/3)
Family - wouldn't approve of my immigrant / Welsh / Catholic background.  Upside, a friendly sister. (1/3) Total: 12	Family - mostly killed off but I'm sensing they'd prefer a human descendant to an elf one. (2/3) Total: 12	Family - unlikely to approve of me being a wine guzzling Catholic  (1/3) Total: 9

As you can see Mr Darcy and Aragorn are neck and neck... but who would you choose?



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Games of the Imagination - do you still play?

I might look like I'm getting dressed as normal but actually I've just been dropped in the middle of the antarctic. I'm on a secret mission. Trouble is I'm naked and if I don't get my socks on within the next 5 seconds frostbite will set in.

1, 2 , 3, 4 ...

Phew. Socks are on. I hear a sigh of relief in my headset. But I'm not out of danger yet. 

Knickers are essential. Not just to keep my bottom from freezing off, but for my dignity. I'm a special agent after all.

Jeans. Where are they? Without their protective layering pneumonia is a certainty.  There'll be no chance of recovery either. There's no medical team where I am. It's just snow and ice for miles and the cold whisper of death blowing down my neck.

My jeans aren't where they should be... oh god... I'm going to die if I don't find them... I can hear them panicking back at base, they're blaming each other, bringing up past special agents who didn't make it. The heat is retreating to my core organs, I won't be able to feel my legs soon...

FOUND THEM! Panic over! Bra, t-shirt, jumper, fingerless gloves! I'm going to survive!

Okay. So I've never really been dropped in the north pole. That's just a little mind game I play on cold mornings, which being in England, is most of them. To the naked eye, I'm just getting dressed.

Thinking about my own mind games made me wonder what other people are imagining when they're doing mundane things. 

Writers are often stealing characters from real life. But although we can copy mannerisms and dialogue, I doubt we can ever really know the narrative of another person's thoughts. The good thing is, with so many different mental narratives, whatever we make up in fiction, it's bound to resonate with someone.

Come on, I can't be the only one being dropped in the antarctic in the mornings or the jungle for the washing up... tell me, where do you go?

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My First Publishing Lunch with Harper Impulse

Fiona and me feeling happy post lunch!

It was a pinch yourself moment walking into the offices of Harper Collins. I had just met up with my agent, Fiona Barrows, and we were now in reception waiting to meet Harper Impulse editors Kimberley Young, Charlotte Ledger, and the intern who had originally picked up my submission and got excited about it, Marine Debray. My default state on a normal day is of nervous excitement, so I had to keep reminding myself to keep my feet on the floor. 

They say authors don't get taken out for lunch these days, but I'm living proof it can still happen! It wasn't boozy as everyone had to get back to work after, but I had a glass of wine because it seemed rude not to. 

The meal began with everyone saying they'd be 'good' then ordering fries on the side, which was a relief. I reckon you can trust women who eat chips. Later we all said 'no, no, no, actually yes please' to pudding. I'm not a sweet tooth but warm pecan pie with banana malt ice cream, anyone? The answer is always yes. 

It was a 'getting to know each other' lunch and I still don't know exactly how much work I have to do on Spray Painted Bananas. What I do know is that the title will probably change as they aren't keen on it. They think it doesn't say enough about the book. I was expecting to feel a strong reaction when they said that, but I didn't. Instead it occurred to me that if they changed the title, it would feel like I'd written a new novel! 

They're the experts in this field so I'm going to listen to their suggestions. They also emphasised it being a collaborative process and that they wouldn't do anything I'm not happy with. That'll matter a lot when they start showing me book covers! 

This lunch felt like a significant step in my career. I know like many steps in the past, it will soon feel normal, so I should savour it while I can. 

My husband, a firm believer in celebrating important moments, bought me a beautiful leather Huber and Lerner notebook. Luckily I can slide my own paper in it so it won't run out within the month, because I've a lot of writing ahead of me. In fact, that's probably enough savouring for now, I've got two novels to hand in this year and it's already April!

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