Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Which Fictional Character to Run Off with?

Harper Impulse posed a very difficult question in my author questionnaire last week: which fictional character would you run off with into the sunset? 
Plenty of actors came to mind, Jean Dujardin mainly, Brad Pitt obviously... But a fictional character?  After much deliberation I consulted one of my oldest friends.
"I think you're taking it a bit too seriously," she said. She then reminded me of the man we'd both spent our youth watching emerge from a lake in a wet, white shirt. Who? You ask? Mr Darcy, of course! Specifically Mr Darcy played by Colin Firth in BBC's 1995 six episode version of Pride and Prejudice. I have only stopped watching it on repeat because I no longer have a VHS player.
It was an obvious choice and yet I wasn't sure. I had not forgotten my crush on the ruggedly handsome Aragorn. He really knew how to push open a big door in a sexy manner.

Curious to know who other people would run off with, I put the same question to my facebook group. "Alice in Wonderland," someone said. I felt a bit ashamed then. How predictable of me to be racking my brain for handsome men. Still, I wouldn't choose Alice. She'd only be fun until the withdrawal symptoms kicked in and she stopped seeing white bunny rabbits drinking tea.

My list of two increased after watching Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. No, not Ewen McGregor's character, but the visionary Sheikh Muhammed joined Darcy and Aragorn on my list. Three men and only one I could ride off with into the sunset. I decided to analyse their strengths and weaknesses to help me make my decision. These are the results:

Mr Darcy
Sheikh Muhammed
Good on a horse (2/3)
Excellent on a horse (3/3)
Good on a horse and most likely better on a camel than the other two (3/3)
Washes once a week (1/3)

Washes once a month (0/3)
Washes every day (3/3)
No previous girlfriends. One disgruntled 'betrothed'  too sick to make a fuss  (2/3)

An immortal ex - girlfriend (1/3)
'Many' wives (0/3)
Very rich (3/3)
Fighting for his riches (1/3)
Ridiculously Rich (downside, he does silly things with his money like introducing Salmon to the Yemen). (2/3)
 "Tall person, handsome features, noble mien" (3/3)
 - lean, dark and tall, with shaggy dark hair "flecked with grey", grey eyes, and a stern pale face (2/3)

(Looks based on description) Unavailable (0/3)
Awkward in bed (0/3)
Confident in bed (3/3)
Tired in bed, due to having many wives to satisfy (0/3)
Family - wouldn't approve of my immigrant / Welsh / Catholic background.  Upside, a friendly sister. (1/3)

Total: 12
Family - mostly killed off but I'm sensing they'd prefer a human descendant to an elf one. (2/3)

Total: 12
Family - unlikely to approve of me being a wine guzzling Catholic 

Total: 9
As you can see Mr Darcy and Aragorn are neck and neck... but who would you choose?


Lindsay said...

I have to say, I do admire your taste. 3 jolly good choices. I think I would have gone for Aragorn in my younger days - that is, when I first met him - he'd be better without that girlfriend and we'd have installed a nice shower so the washing bit improved.

Emily Benet said...

Thanks Lindsay :) Aragorn plus power shower would be the winner!

Rosalind Adam said...

In my teens I would have said Heathcliffe but now I'm older and realistic I might settle for Postman Pat!