Interior monologue of a writer trying to sell a new book. (Or, the joy and pain of amazon ranking)

Right. This is it. The great launch is here. Well, not great. I'm not actually going to do anything. A bit of cava for lunch to mark the occasion, that's all. It's an ebook, we're in 2015...  Perhaps for the paperback I'll pay for a launch, but I don't know...  it's not really worth it, to be honest. Not financially. A lot of fun though.

Right. Here goes a quiet e-book launch.

I just want...

I just want so badly for it to be..

the one.

I know. I shouldn't have expectations. I'm going to be disappointed if I do. 

Everyone knows you have to write at least eight books before you get anywhere. Look at 

Jojo Moyes. She wrote eight books before You Before Me took off. 

I must prepare myself for the worst.

#PLEASERETWEET IS PUBLISHED. (video proof below)

It's just gone live on Amazon. Current position #56,000.

If it goes any lower... don't go any lower... I shouldn't look. Don't look!

#29,000

Thank f$%^ for that!

Maybe it'll go higher. Even if just one person buys it, it will jump up a few thousand. 

*appeals to friends and family on Facebook to 'help an artist out'*

#21,000

Yessss. Keep climbing! Please keep climbing!

Once when I discounted ShopGirl Diaries to 99p I sold 10 ebooks and it shot up to #80 in one of the 'women fiction' categories. That's what I need. A few people buying it at the same time. The higher it gets the better chance it has of reaching a wider audience. Wider than my friends and family, for instance.

*Appeals to Twitter*

#14,500

Thank you everyone! Thank you. I LOVE YOU.

#9,800

You are the most supportive, kindest bunch of people ever. I'm so grateful to everyone. I love you. You all know that right?

#5,000

Oh wow. This is the highest I have ever reached. Maybe this is the beginning of a new, more successful phase. Maybe the work is going to pay off. Maybe I can aspire to make a living out of this after all?

#6,000

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

*refreshes amazon page*

*refreshes amazon page*

*refreshes amazon page*

*refreshes amazon page*

*refreshes amazon page*

*refreshes amazon page*

*refreshes amazon page*

It can't be game over already! Maybe it'll go up tomorrow?

TWO WEEKS LATER

#86,000

I'M NEVER WRITING A BOOK AGAIN! I can't take it! I can't take any more! It's too hard!

....

Then again two weeks isn't that long, is it?

People haven't even had time to read it, have they?

Maybe it still could be the one.

Fancy helping #PleaseRetweet on its journey? 

Available now from Amazon 

and all good book shops!