Thursday, 10 December 2015

5 BRILLIANT Christmas Gifts which are not pointless at all

Yay, Christmas! The time of year where we spend loads of money on stuff we don't need while half the planet struggles to make ends meet. God Bless us everyone! Well, not everyone obviously, just the ones lucky enough to be born in the right place at the right time. All I'm saying is, why not let us buy sensible presents? You know it makes sense.

After careful research I've selected five simultaneously fun and practical gifts for the Christmas seasons. I know you're bound to fall in love with one of them...


How many times have you heard parents say it? Oh, little bubs here, he has more fun with the box than the really expensive present we bought him! 

SO WHY DON'T THEY EVER JUST BUY THE BOX? Every year parents waste money pimping up the box with really expensive brightly coloured plastic bits, when for a couple of quid they could just buy what bubs really, really wants. Wrap it up of course. A present isn't a present if it's not wrapped up.


If your cat is scratching your sofa it's because it's trying to tell you something, you're just being too thick to understand it. 

YOUR CAT WANTS TO BE A DJ. No, it doesn't want a boring old post. Would you want to scratch a stick? No! Buy poor kitty some decks and let her fulfill her dreams this Christmas.


Most parents with small kids are knackered. This is because they are not delegating properly. This present helps parents feel less guilty about getting their baby to chip in with the housework. Dribble. Polish. Dribble. Polish. This present will light up their lives and their living rooms.


I'm not taking the piss. I am one of these organic-free-range-save-the-world people. But if like me, you've grown bored of trying and *failing (*forgetting) to cultivate the chili seeds given to you free with your bill at Wahaca, then maybe it's time to sweeten up your horticultural experience with mini donut seeds. 

You'll benefit from the gift too because the donuts should be ready in time for Christmas next year when your organic friend is bound to invite you to a mouth-watering meal! RESULT.


For your friend who is OMG so busy, accept it, it's probably too late for them to change. If you buy them roses they'll be too busy to smell them. These bread gloves may be enabling their hurry hurry lifestyles, or it might stop them in their tracks, and think, maybe I should stop and eat a proper lunch because maybe life is too short to eat sandwiches every day. 

Either way, it's definitely memorable. Who can forget their first bread gloves?

If none of these are suitable, then you could buy my book instead. It's suitable for reading, holding a door open or starting a fire on a cosy Christmas evening. Unless its the 99p kindle version, in which please do not burn but dispose of responsibly.

If you'd like a signed copy, you can buy direct from me via Paypal. All books will be sent out 1st class on 19th December. Book plus UK postage cost £9.99

I should put a button here but it's not working plus it charges me money and I'm trying to keep things cheap for you. If you're familiar with paypal then you know all you need is my email to transfer £9.99 for each book. I will reply immediately. Promise.

For a less commercial Christmas post, take a peek at Emily Benet's Advent Calendar

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