Thursday, 14 April 2016

Happy New Year in April Packaging

Happy New Year! Yes, it's a little late, or early, what with it being April. However after a stream of rubbish events, I've made an executive decision to right off this year so far and start again from now.

So here we are. A brand new year. What are your hopes and dreams for it?

One of my dreams is that Carrefour changes their ruling on packaging sausages individually like this:

No, they wouldn't put them in one bag and put four stickers on them. They had to house them individually because if you put sausages altogether they start fighting...Yes, that must be it. And then if you get caught up in the fight while you're trying to separate the angry sausages, and one of them lashes out and breaks your nose, then you might sue Carrefour. 

FFS Carrefour, think about the whales!!! And the future generations who won't be swimming with dolphins but with rubbish up to their necks!!!

But I don't want to begin the year with a rant... 

One of the things I am truly excited about this year is that I don't have any trips booked anywhere.

Unlike my usual hopes for the future, I have absolutely no desire to go on any adventures in far off lands or aspire to have any exotic holidays. Those tickets you got me to the Caribbean, you can keep them. The furthest I'd like to travel is my local supermarket*. (*Thankfully my local supermarket isn't Carrefour but somewhere that doesn't feel the need to wrap a carrot in tarpaulin). 

Why do I shudder at the thought of voyaging afar?

Because I've been on 11 flights in 6 weeks and I still feel that parts of my body are in different countries. Only one of those was a long haul so I'm probably not justified in feeling this way. But that's how I feel. Frankly, I think my health has suffered. Enough is enough.

I'm thrilled to be back in Mallorca and relishing the thought of having my working routine again. I want to type so much my fingerprints get wiped off (Ha! That would stop me travelling very far!) 

(Damn it. Now I feel guilty because I'm lucky to be able to travel so extensively with my EU passport!) (Please vote for Britain to stay in the EU!!)

Anyway, whether this new novel I'm writing is any good or not, I can't be sure. But earlier I read a quote from Lionel Shriver which said: Finish it. There is nothing more depressing than an abandoned manuscript.  

So I will.  

I'm also going to be continuing to explore the island for SeeMallorca and learning to drive so I can be a more efficient reporter. Rather frustratingly I'm still studying my theory which is more baffling that everyone promised. Take rules on seat belt wearing for instance. My question for them is: 

If the 'banda abdominal' is dangerous when worn across the 'abdomen', why is it called a banda ABDOMINAL? ... really, at the rate I'm going I'll be retired before I learn to drive.

However, it's a new year, so I'm going to be very positive. Lalalalala. 

As ever, one step at a time...


Lindsay said...

Happy New Year!

The Banda question - I read it as Banda Abominable - so that's your answer.

Emily Benet said...

Haha I'll remember this when the question comes up! Very helpful! Banda abominable across the adbdomen - NEVER.