I've a driving exam next Tuesday. Or maybe it'll be Monday. It seems the driving school wants to keep it a surprise.
"What do you mean it might move to Monday?" I ask my instructor, when he tells me.
"It's 50 / 50."
That's ridiculous, I think. It's lucky I'm flexible but that's not the point.
"What if I had a normal job?" I say.
He shrugs. "Well you don't so stop complaining."
"But what if I did..."
He ignores me. I'm in the backseat and easy to ignore. I'm currently watching another student drive. He's pretty smooth. Shame he keeps going the wrong way down one way streets.
50/50. Like the chances of me passing. I'm good sometimes. Not all the time though.
"You're a bit of a mad goat," my instructor says, when we're alone. "I think it's your personality. You need to calm down."
This is a serious problem, I think. How on earth am I going to be able to change my personality in less than a week?
I consider the problem as I speed down the motorway. Learners are allowed on motorways in Spain. They're the easiest bits really. It's all the intersections that are a pain.
I don't know how I'm going to transform into a calm, grounded person. Meditation? Yoga? I do all this stuff anyway. Fat lot of good it has done for my driving.
"She's gone," the instructor observes. He means I'm thinking. I'm outside the car.
"No I'm not," I say. But maybe he's right. "I'm just annoyed. I want to be smooth."
"Look," he says. "You can be smooth but if you make mistakes you won't pass. If you're rougher but you follow all the signs correctly then you'll pass."
But the mad goat image has stuck in my mind. I don't want to be unpredictable. I don't want to be jerky. My friend's mum who used to drive us back from school drove so badly I always arrived home feeling sick. I don't want to be my friend's mum or a mad goat. But I suppose he's right and the most important thing is to pass now and smoothe up later.
I really want my driving license. It's become all consuming. All I seem to be doing is running back and forward to the driving school.
So pray for me on Monday... or maybe Tuesday.
Alternatively leave a tip on how I might calm down in the comments section. Gracias!