Friday, 22 June 2012

The Millionaire BootCamp for Authors

Recently I attended the Millionaire Bootcamp for Authors.
On occasion it was as silly as its title.
People were sent in to warm us up before each talk.
‘I’m going to make you do things you don’t want to do!’ one woman cried.  
The Black Eyed Peas blasted around the conference room as the woman tried frantically to get us up on stage to dance away our inhibitions.
I love dancing but I was at a loss to see how shaking my booty in front of 500 people was going to help promote my novel.
Perhaps if I’d heard Raymond Aaron earlier I might have run up and initiated a dance off with the less inhibited foreigners already waving their arms about.
Mr Aaron delivered my favourite line of the weekend, ‘If what makes sense to you doesn’t get results, then do what doesn’t make sense to you!’
Along with the energetic line dancing we were also encouraged to massage each other’s shoulders and ‘high five’ at every opportunity.
Inevitably there were grumbles of: ‘We aren’t American.’
So why was I there?
Because experience has taught me that it’s not enough to write a book.
It’s not even enough to get an agent and a publisher.
You have to actually sell your book as well.
I went to the talks because I wanted to improve my chances of earning more than the average writer, which is estimated at £4000 a year.
It was soon obvious that the talks were geared for people writing non-fiction; people who had businesses and people who were in a great hurry to get published and get rich.
The speakers insinuated miracle techniques to write a book in 90 days, or 30 days or in Mr Aaron’s case, just 10 HOURS!
While my new fiction posse rolled their eyes, the rest of the audience jumped up and down with glee.
Speakers offered 60 minutes of great information and then their talks turned to sales pitches which had people sprinting to the back of the room to sign up.
 And every course, however expensive it was at the beginning, was inevitably reduced to £1,997.
I didn’t part with my overdraft that weekend, but I did get a lot out of the talks.
I met some wonderful people, got some great tips and I left with my mind buzzing.
 ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results,’ Einstein said.
Well now I've got a fantastic plan of action.
Unfortunately it’s written on the outside of my box and until I break out I won't be able to read it. 
Perhaps I have to 'high five' my way out... 

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