Results: 1 Week Social Media Detox

I thought it would be really tough. I deleted the apps from my phone to avoid temptation. It helped that once I'd blogged about giving up Facebook and Twitter for a week, I couldn't sneakily go on them or everyone would have known! 

Day 1 - Social Life

So used to scrolling through my social networks , I found myself with a phone in my hand and not sure what to do with it. I turned to WhatsApp and got in touch with an Argentine girl I'd met here in Mallorca, suggesting a drink one day this week. She replied, "Tomorrow?"  So often in London you'd have to book a date with your friends weeks in advance, so I was very excited about the spontaneous meeting with a new friend.  

Day 2 - Battery Life

The drink with my friend morphed into a lively dinner at her flat, as her Argentine flat mate was cooking Matambre a la Pizza. I stayed in the spare room as buses had stopped running. Since I hadn't been checking my phone all day, I had plenty of battery left to set an early morning alarm and check my emails. 

Day 3 - Brain Retraining

Despite not checking Twitter, my brain kept automatically composing tweets about what I was doing or feeling. Then I'd think, Oh wait, you're not on Twitter, it doesn't matter! Here are some of the tweets I might have written:

Thought it was a cockroach. Thankfully only a baby gecko. Aw.

  

Cor blimey. Gareth Bale looks hot with his new long hair and beard combo. When did this happen?

2,600 word today! #amwriting

Bloody hell Catalunya. Two nationalities is complicated enough for me. Don't goooooooooooo

I'm dancing on a table with my mother-in-law and half of Mallorca @OktoberFest #doesntgetbetterthanthis

Erm, yeah, so all essential observations... In fact I'm quite relieved I didn't post them. 

Ah. Oops. 

Day 4 - Good News

I wrote 1000 more words than my usual. When I felt a pull to check Facebook or Twitter, I went on the goodnews network. It's still procrastinating, but at least the articles didn't leave me feeling frustrated or upset. The truth is, every day there are incredible acts of kindness and inspirational people doing amazing things. If only the mainstream media shared some of them... 

Day 5 - Everyone's addicted

When you're not checking your phone all the time, you notice how many people are. They arrive at an event, they update. They order food, they update. Don't get me started on the amount of selfies being taken! Or Selfie Sticks! I felt like it was more important than ever to stay off my phone. 

Day 6 - Take it or Leave it

Towards the end of the week, I felt only a mild curiosity to see what I might have missed while being off my networks. My husband mentioned things being shared, like 'Pig Gate' (?) that I hadn't heard of. Does it make any difference knowing where the prime minister put his genitalia at university? Maybe, but I'm not sure...

Day 7 - Resolutions

I decide not to re-install my Facebook app on my phone. It's the one I wasted most time on. Being off it for 7 days has been a liberating experience.

Day 8 - Aftermath

I checked my Twitter and Facebook today and realised I'd hardly missed anything. I had warned people I'd be off it and of the 41 Facebook notifications, half of them were invites to events I wouldn't have been able to go to in the UK, birthday alerts and close friends updating their statuses. 

I know I would have checked each notification and then I would have spent 5 minutes or more scrolling through other posts. That's a potential 205 minutes I reclaimed! 

I hadn't missed much on Twitter either, although it's always great to hear from people who are reading my book and it would have been nice to reply to some of those tweets sooner. Still, it shows that instead of checking Facebook and Twitter every hour of the day, it would be quite enough to check it once or twice (depending of course what you're using it for).

Conclusion: The world does not end when you have a 1 week Social Media Detox. On the contrary you might feel freer and happier as your brain relaxes and you make space for other opportunities to arise.   

5 Social Media Habits in my New Novel #PleaseRetweet

My new novel #PleaseRetweet is out today for e-readers! It's been getting some good reviews, which is exciting, by people who sound like they didn't want to read it in the first place...

"Absolutely NOT my sort of thing this, upon first perusal. I mean on top of a lot of other things it has Romance. I don’t do romance. Except in this case (and one or two other rare ones ) I kind of do. Fun I like. And this was the best fun I’ve had with a book when it comes to sheer laugh out loud moments in a long long time," Liz Loves Book, read full review.

It's a comedy about our obsession with social media, about:

1. Documenting every moment

2. The way we relate to people

3. Chasing the high from Likes and Retweets

4. Sharing everything because if we don't, did it really happen?

5. and getting our priorities mixed up...

I've reason to believe if we all bought it today, it would fly up the Amazon ranking out of oblivion, even for just a moment! 

Of course if you've bought it already THANK YOU! And for everyone who is going to buy it next week, or the week after, or... I'm not fussy, it all sounds wonderful to me.

And if you haven't and would like too, here's all the places you can buy it from.

I hope you enjoy it! Please Retweet if you do... well, I had to get that in somewhere didn't I?

Buy your copy of #PleaseRetweet from Amazon

Blog Tips at Winchester Writers' Festival 2015

Unwinding after the 1st day at the festival!

I led an intensive blog workshop at this year's Winchester Writers' Festival. I had eight enthusiastic attendees and five hours in which to share everything I've learned about blogging in the last six years. 

I take hours preparing for workshops because I love to read about successful bloggers and find out what advice they offer. I'm grateful to Joy the Baker and Jim Lin of the Busy Dad Blog, for their top blog tips: 

Tips for a Successful Blog

“Consistency is a big deal. If readers feel like they can count on you for consistent, reliable, beautiful content, they’ll definitely come back. 

Being accessible is important. I love readers to feel they can connect with me on Facebook or Twitter. 

Being an enthusiastic and vocal part of a growing community helped my site. I joined baking groups online, and I would comment on fellow bloggers’ work nonstop.” 

Read a full interview with Joy the Baker 

“Be authentic, or else you will never enjoy it enough to put the work in. If you aren’t funny, don’t try to be. If you aren’t deep and thoughtful, don’t try to be. 

Make connections. Be social, be useful, be entertaining and be friendly. 

Be patient. That’s why you have to do it because you love it, not because you want to make money from it. It must be a passion, not a job." 

Read a full interview with Jim Lin.

Planning blog workshops forces me to look at my own pattern of blogging and assess what I need to be doing. For blogs to thrive they shouldn't be too random, but have a definite theme, and voice, and fulfill expectations... 

"The narrower your focus, the broader your audience," writer and entrepreneur, Jeff Goins writes. 

Goins sets some excellent questions in this exercise to focus your blog content. I shared them at the workshop and was thrilled to feel a boost of energy in the room as vague ideas developed into clearer ones.  

Two attendees sent me their blogs a couple of days later: Footprint Marketing UK and Kill the Boss - Turning Corporate Bollocks into Comic Fiction - I wish them good luck on their blogging journey!

I'm back in sunny Mallorca now but I will be popping back to England for a week in August. 

My next Blogging and Social Networking Workshop will be on Sunday 9th August in London. 

There are 8 places so book soon - and please don't hesitate to get in touch if you have any questions or Visit my Workshops Page for more information.

Venting Online - Should you ever do it?

Do you ever get a great urge to vent online? Perhaps after a particularly bad day at the office you feel the impulse to update your facebook status to:

MY BOSS IS AN INCOMPETENT MORON! 

Or if you're a writer and sales aren't going too well:

STOP *LIKING* THE F*******  BOOK AND BUY IT!

Perhaps you're more of a drip feeder of your woes and post things like:

I don't want to talk about it... 

Why would you write that unless you wanted to talk about it?!

- feeling disappointed *sad face*

I understand it though. Caring friends will rush to leave hearts and hugs and you'll feel loved and happy. Other 'friends' will roll their eyes and unfollow you, but you won't know about them, so it won't hurt. 

Who am I to judge? I'm familiar with the impulse. I've succumbed to sharing my frustrations on facebook, often trying to prove I'm not the sort of person who spills their guts without filter, by adding a humorous photo to lighten it up. 

The sharing gives me a little rush.  But it's a high that lasts only a few seconds. Almost immediately I'll feel immature about having a hissy fit in public. Within ten minutes I've usually taken the post down, concerned that my online footprint will follow me; that word will travel to the last pair of ears I'd like it to travel to.

I believe all social networks require filtering by the user. Filtering is especially essential if you're interacting as a professional. My blog isn't the same as the diary I kept as a teenager.  No one needs that. No one wants to drown in self-indulgent - WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME? WHY IS IT ALL SO UNFAIR? -  drivel.   

So what do you do when you're from the over-sharing generation and you feel a tremendous urge to rant about a sensitive matter to the online community?

Well you:

1) take a deep breath

2) feel and accept the anger / frustration / disappointment

3) redirect it

You vent. But not about the stuff that could get you into trouble. You vent about stuff like:

1. Why do they put serviettes UNDER your sandwich?

2. Why do drivers with the worst taste in music play it the loudest?

3. Why do they call them monkey bars when there are no monkeys?

4. Why don't my socks ever make it into the washing machine TOGETHER?

5. Why do fussy eaters not just order a Margarita pizza rather than ordering something delicious and picking out all the best bit?

6. Why do mosquitoes buzz around my ear but bite my legs?

7. Why don't mosquitoes just bite my whole ear off instead of my legs so I don't have to listen to the b******* all night?

8. Why does cling film exist when after one use it's IMPOSSIBLE to tear off?

Alternatively, you can rant about important things:

9. Why is Fifa doing nothing about the Nepalese labourers dying EVERY TWO DAYS while building a F****** football stadium in Qatar? 

But it depends on your blog, I guess. 

10. Why am I still ranting when I'm obviously perfectly fine and have nothing more to rant about? 

  

So, yeah, about that urge? Do you get it? 

My nest novel #PleaseRetweet is a comedy about society's obsession with social media. For the latest news on its release, sign up to my monthly newsletter!

Blogging and Social Networking Workshop - 8th March

My next Blogging and Social Networking Workshop is now only a month away!

When: Saturday 8th March
Time: 10.30am - 3.00pm
How much:£45.00
Where: London, SE1

It's an intensive workshop packed with tips on how to set up your blog,  develop its identity, promote it using social networks, gain a readership, keep it interesting and also, importantly, what to avoid. 

Here are some Twitter Testimonials about my last workshop:

Thanks to talented and engaging @EmilyBenet for a brilliant #BlogWorkshop today and great to meet everyone. @JohnHandscombe @storyslamlive
— Pippa Gough (@PippaGough) October 19, 2013

If you want to learn about blogging, book on @EmilyBenet's course. I went yesterday - learned loads & laughed loads. Now I'm ready to blog!!
— John Handscombe (@JohnHandscombe) October 20, 2013

Thnks @EmilyBenet for a great workshop today on 'Blogging and Social Media'. Years of hard-earned knowledge packed into 1 session. Perfect!
— Tamim Sadikali (@TamimSadikali) October 19, 2013

 

BLOG SPOTLIGHT: The Reluctant Perfectionist

Helen Barbour came to a workshop in November 2012 and began her blog The Reluctant Perfectionist soon after. 

Peter Gettins Photography

What's your blog about? The Reluctant Perfectionist is a blog about my experiences of having obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). 

How long have you been blogging? Since 8 April 2013 – so far I’ve managed weekly posts, on a Monday, and hope to continue with that regularity. 

What made you start? Originally this was a means to an end, in that I wanted to raise my profile as a writer: obsessive-compulsive disorder is a theme in my – as yet – unpublished novel. However, I quickly began to enjoy blogging in its right and the positive feedback from readers has encouraged me immensely. 

What have been the benefits of blogging for you? I love playing with words (aka writing!) and blogging is a way to hone those skills. I’ve also found the experience extremely rewarding, as many readers have contacted me to say they have found my posts interesting and/or helpful – from strangers as far afield as India and the States, to an old schoolfriend, whose grown-up son has been diagnosed with OCD. 

What has been your most popular post to date? My post, Natural Born Worrier, about anxiety, which I think is something most people can relate to – though perhaps not in such an extreme form as I experience it (OCD is an anxiety disorder). 

Have you got a blog highlight? I was recently approached by a magazine based in Mumbai, India, who were looking for someone to write an article about OCD for them and had come across me via my blog. I was thrilled to be asked and am expecting the article to be published in March.

***

This workshop will pose the questions you should ask before you begin your blog and offer all the information you need to get started.  If you've been meaning to start a blog for a long time, why put it off any longer? Come along for a friendly, fun and informative workshop!

Book your place via Paypal (£45.00) or for more information check out my Blog Workshop Page.

 

Twitter: 5 reasons why they're not following you back

Here are some straightforward reasons why you might be getting a low follow back rate:

1. You are an egg - using the default picture of an egg rather than uploading a picture makes you look like spam or a real beginner who will probably make an omelette of their tweets. You don't have to use a portrait photo if you don't want to, just don't be a huevo, because the only one anyone ever heard of was Humpty Dumpty and he was so smashed he fell off a wall. 

2. You have a) no biog b) an annoying biog - don't make people guess what you're about. Give them a hint, set the tone, so they know why they should follow you. That said, having no biog is probably better than a bad biog, as the saying goes "Better to have no biog and be thought a fool than to have a cringeworthy one and remove all doubt." Best not to say I'm so crazy!!!! or I'm so funny!! LOL, writers are always saying it but in this case it really is a matter of 'show don't tell'. 

3. Your ratio of following to followers - if someone is following 1000 people but only 12 are following them back, it will make me suspicious. Since roughly half of people follow back, why have only 12 done so? How bad can the person's tweets possibly be? It's normal for people to be following more than they are being followed by, but not by such a staggering difference. 

4. Your timeline is full of the same message - if I'm not sure whether to follow someone back I might have a peek at their timeline. If I see that all their tweets are identical and run along the lines of 'Thank you for following! Check out my latest 5 star review of my new novel: Tedium Strikes Back...' that's enough evidence for me that that person is only on Twitter to bombard me like a robot. 

 5. It's not you, it's them - if you're not an egg, do have a reasonable biog, are following and being followed back by more than just your nan and aren't doing the hard sale, then don't worry about it if some people don't follow you back. Some tweeps are very choosy, or famous, or like to keep the group they follow small so they can manage their twitter feed more easily. They might not share your interests, hobbies, have an aversion to cat/dog/chinchilla people or think because you've written you're a Christian you're going to be constantly tweeting extracts from the Bible. It might be simpler than that even. Some people might not have got around to checking out any new followers, in which case retweeting a tweet of theirs, is a good way of alerting them to you. You can use friendorfollow.com to investigate further. It will show you who you are following, who follows you and who you are following who doesn't follow you - now have a couple of drinks and try saying that sentence very quickly!

For blog tips my ebook Blogging for Beginners is available to download from amazon.

The Oversharing Sickness - Do you have it?

You make lunch. It looks tasty. You take a picture. You post it. Now you feel full. You take a selfie of yourself looking full. You post it. Now you've got food poisoning and you're throwing up. It's pretty impressive, bright green vomit. You take a picture, right?

No! You don't!

Oversharing on social media, do you do it? I know I do and am in constant danger of doing it. If you opened up my brain I wouldn't be surprised if you found little social media sharing buttons. When I'm amused by a thought, a twitter widget pops up with a question: Share it? When my eyes land on some juicy image, an instagram widget flashes up: Take a picture? Don't get me started on the hashtags #gettothepoint

Last week I went to FuerzaBruta at the Roundhouse. It's a theatrical experience involving stunning visual effects, loud music and lots of water. Or, as the website states it's an event 'where worlds collide, where dreams are real and reality takes a back seat. Give in to it, let go and enjoy the spectacular ride.'

Well, here's the problem. I couldn't 'give in to it' and 'let go' because reality failed to take a back seat. Instead reality took a front seat in the form of people holding their Smartphone's up in the air trying to video it all. We were seeing a spectacle of flashing lights and smoke, and there they all were trying desperately to capture it. Why? For what? Anyone standing behind them could see their videos were pathetic. It's like when you take snaps of fireworks, they never look as good as the real thing.

What struck me as ridiculous is that they had come to see a live show but were watching it through a tiny screen. Just enjoy it! I wanted to shout, Just be in the moment! What made me angry was that I had paid to see the show and because they were holding their phones up, my view was being cut off and the chance of me being immersed in the performance was impossible. Trembling with rage, I did ask someone politely to lower their phone at one point, which they did, looking surprised to find there were people behind them at all.

I'm an advocate for social media as a creative outlet, for business, building connections, promoting causes you care about, or just for pure entertainment. But using social media to prove that you exist, that you have a life, can turn you into a slave to it, forever seeking approval. Because why else do people feel the urge to take those crappy videos, if not to get a response, perhaps some 'likes' on Facebook, a few retweets, an OMG and an LOL? I've experienced it myself and it does my head in. In fact I often feel a need to reassess how I'm using my platforms.

Of one thing I'm sure, those phone adverts which tell you to buy their phone because with its super mega camera you will 'never miss a moment' are talking rubbish. Surely, the way you don't miss a moment is to put your phone down, be fully present and enjoy it? 

MY MONTHLY NEWSLETTER

Blogging for Beginners eBook Launch

Blogging for Beginners is now available to download from Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com

About the Book

Whether you're an individual or a business, a blog is an extremely effective tool for developing your online presence and reaching a global audience.

It's a dynamic platform which you can use to share your creativity, advice, services and skills. You don't need to be technically-minded to have a blog. All you need is an internet connection and a couple of spare hours in your week. Anyone can blog. That said, you don’t want to settle for just any old blog that you'll get bored of!

Blogging for Beginners poses the questions you should ask before you begin and all the information you need to get started. The book is packed with tips on how to set up your blog, develop its identity, choose content, gain a readership and increase blog traffic. 

Extract from my article in The New Writer and my new e-book Blogging for Beginners:

"When I was 11 years old, I wrote in my diary, 'I've started a new novel today which I'm going to get published.' I believed that to get a book published all I had to do was write one. It was a shock to discover this was not the case.

I later learnt that the book had to be brilliant. Not only that but it had to land on an agent’s desk at the exact moment they were savouring a fresh cup of coffee, the sun was shining and they were feeling a profound love towards all humanity. Rejection was inevitable. If you were very lucky, you would receive a personal letter, and only then to tell you that your book was rubbish but your font had potential.

Patience is not my greatest virtue. By 24 I was fed up of waiting for someone to pluck my work out of the slush pile and bless it with their approval. All I wanted was to write and be read. So I began a blog about the only thing I really knew anything about; working in my Mum's eccentric chandelier shop. At first, my readership consisted of a few friends and relatives, but gradually my following grew. I took my weekly deadline very seriously and edited as ruthlessly as if it were to be printed in a national newspaper.

Six months after I began, Salt Publishing got in touch with me through Facebook and told me they loved the blog. More importantly, they commissioned the book Shop Girl Diaries. Since then I've contributed articles on social media to magazines and guidebooks and I run blog workshops in the UK.

My experience has been positive, however a successful blog doesn't happen overnight. Blogging takes time, perseverance and often won't pay a penny directly or for some time, yet, if you stick with it, it can reap wonderful rewards. Having a regular blog increases your chances of your work becoming visible while making you accessible to those who might be interested in it. You also become part of a huge interactive community which can stimulate and support you in whatever your blog mission is. Blogging for Beginners is not just aimed at writers. This is for anyone wanting to be pro-active and embrace the blogosphere."

Download Blogging for Beginners from Amazon for just £1.92 

My next Blogging and Social Networking Workshop will take place on Saturday 25th January in London, SE1.

For more details and bookings, visit my Blog Workshops Page. Places are limited!

I'm Away Guest Blogging!

Hello! I'm guest blogging for Mslexia at the moment so please visit me at their Blog. I'll be back here next month.   

Here are some of my guest posts:

Tweets, Tweeps & Twits
The Pressure of an Online Presence
Social Media: Friend or Foe

Thanks for reading!

Emily x