Writing, Motherhood and why my blog isn'talking to me!

Me: Hi blog!

Blog: I'm not talking to you.

Me: I know I've been a bit lame.

Blog: A bit lame? It's been months.

Me: I've got something to show you.

Blog: Tell me it's not another baby snap. People have been talking, you know. They say your Instagram has been mummified.  

Me: I'm not sure that's the right use of the word.

Blog: BABYFIED!

Me: Not a word.

Blog: MOTHERSMOTHERED. BABYBURGLED.  

Me: I'll wait until you've calmed down.

Blog: OOH, LOOK AT ME AND MY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY.

Me: ....

Blog: You used to be a writer.

Me: I still am. In fact, that's what I wanted to share. I had a piece published in Pregnant Chicken!

Blog: But you know sod all about farm animals.

Me: It's a really sassy pregnancy magazine. My piece is called: Is Your Pregnancy App Making You Paranoid?

Blog: Is it?

Me: I'm not pregnant any more, but I talk about it in my Pregnancy Diaries book, remember

Blog: No.

Me: I've also been interviewed on the Common Sense Pregnancy Podcast. The interview is all about No-Fear Pregnancy. It was a great conversation with author, Jeanne Faulkner. She's based in Portland.

Blog: Is that where you've been all this time?

Me: Portland? Uh no. I've been looking after the baby.

Blog: HERE WE GO AGAIN! BABYBABYBABYBABYBABYBABY!

Me: I'm going to go now...

Blog: So, you just came here to show off?

Me: Uh, no, I just wanted, you know, to share writer stuff...

Blog: Whatever.

Me: We'll speak again soon.

Blog: Will we?

Me: You should buy my book!

Blog: You know what you should do...

Me: Shss, don't swear in front of the baby!


Sorry it's been so quiet around here  - I do update much more on my Facebook Author page! Thanks for reading! 

The Writing Trance of a Stay-at-Home-Writer-Mum

I consider myself to be quite an observant person. I've also got a great sense of smell. But the other day I failed to noticed a soldering iron slowly burning through a plastic box right beside my desk. I only clocked onto the plume of smoke rising up under my very nose, and the terrible odour of melted plastic, when my husband appeared, and broke the spell I'd been under. That's what writing does to me. I sink into it so deeply, it's as if I'm in another dimension.

Just now I resurfaced from editing a chapter, and discovered my feet were freezing, and my slippers were on the floor just next to them. I was so concentrated on getting some writing done, I hadn't noticed my discomfort, or the ridiculously simple solution.

I have my baby to thank for this new focus. I'm calling myself a stay-at-home-writer-mum. I love spending so much time with her, and am amazed by how rapidly she's growing and changing. I'm grateful I don't need to put her into childcare as it would break my heart, but I still need to write. As well as magazine work, I'm slowly rewriting my novel and editing The Pregnancy Diaries.

Now Six months old, Baby Sol has two siestas a day. When her also freelance father is working, those are my two sacred hours for writing. When I feel tired after an early morning feed, I find my hour of writing gives me energy. I love it as much as I have ever done. So, though my social media feed suggests I'm now baby rather than writing obsessed, I am still plugging away on my books, and look forward to being able to share news of their publication next year!   

For more regular updates, like my Facebook Author Page. Thank you!

Writing and Money: The Reality is...

The First Book! Is it the One?

Self-pity is so unattractive. When I feel a dollop of the stuff, I get very annoyed with myself. Even more so with the world in the state it's in, and poor little me living in paradise* (*Mallorca) with a roof over my head and my belly full. But bear with me, because if you're a writer too you might recognise what I'm feeling.

The thing is I thought that once you'd written three books you'd be making money from writing books. Alas, far from it. The reality is, the time involved in writing and selling the books, and how much you make from each book and the quantities you're likely to sell, mean that it's more like a very expensive hobby.

When I feel demoralised like this,  I turn to my favourite podcast The Creative Penn. It's a podcast in which self-publishing guru, Joanna Penn, interviews other writers with entrepreneurial spirits like hers who have worked their socks off and now make a comfortable living from their writing 'business'.

Listening to them blows me away. These people are machines. They don't write one book a year like traditional authors tend to, but raise the bar to four books, five, even six books a year. They're full-time writers setting big goals each day and achieving them. I don't know how they do it. Are these books ten pages long? No, they're full-length novel. Are they terrible quality? Put it this way, they're good enough to have attracted lots of loyal readers! 

Today, listening to the interview with  Russell Blake, I found myself hearing exactly the message I needed to hear. Artists have always had lousy odds of success, that's how it is, and the best thing is not to have great expectation. His advice? Work really hard! 

"I have friends that write in the movie industry and in TV and I have friends who have been professional musicians and make good livings at it and they all say the same thing. They all work their asses off, they work long hours, and they all say it’s not rocket science." - Russell Blake

The amount of books that need to be written in order to make a living out of writing books is a point that has been made time and again on The Creative Penn podcast. You can't earn a living from one stand alone book. Yet most of us writers dream of just that. It's what Blake refers to as 'magical thinking'.

I'm guilty of tons of magical thinking - and before you start with the 'but what about JK?' - we never get to see all the books and all the work these famous authors did before they finally got their big deal.

Some people spend years polishing that one book, getting excited when they get a book deal (a book deal doesn't necessarily mean getting money upfront - I have yet to be paid an advance!), and then they inevitably feel disappointment when it doesn't sell as well as they fantasised it would. Because the odds are a new writer only sells a couple of hundred books, of which they make less than a pound a book, which means earning a couple of hundred pounds for a year's work! Crazy, right?

It makes so much sense that you're not going to make money from one book. I was brought up in a shop and my Dad was always obsessed with increasing our stock. The more stock you have the more likely you'll sell. Having one book to sell is like having, well, a book shop with one book in it. If you sell ten books in a day, congratulations, you've made £10.00, you'll be able to pay for lunch and the bus home.  

Basically, if we want to make money from writing novels, then we've got to forget about writing one novel, and think long term. Think 8 novels. If you can write a series, then lucky you. I'm still not sure I could write a series...and besides the other message writers leave on the podcast is, you've got to write what you would want to read!

Instead of complaining about how hard it is, I think I had better knuckle down and get on with stocking up my book shop, don't you?

Thank you for reading!  

My books shop is small but please feel free to browse. 

Is it a girl? Is it a boy? Is it a book? - said no midwife ever.

"Your book is your baby!"

"Getting your book published is like giving birth!"

I've never given birth but I'm guessing these statements are a bit far fetched. 

Writing a book is a lot of work but at least it doesn't cry. The only person crying is you because it's taking so long.  

Your book doesn't give you mastitis. At the most it gives you a headache. Possibly a bit of repetitive strain injury. If you prefer vintage methods and are using pen and paper, there's the danger of paper cuts.

Your book does not poo. Although that doesn't mean it isn't crap. The first draft will definitely stink, even though it took you the best part of nine months to create. Ten years if you've had a stab at 'literary fiction*'.

(*Literary fiction is the one where not much happens, but it makes you cry because it's so beautiful and profound. Although you might also be crying because you've just finished reading 400 pages and you don't know what's happened.)

You don't feel unconditional love for your book. If you look too closely, you still see bits you could improve. I don't think you give birth and immediately think, Not bad! But I could have made its ears a bit rounder!  

The biggest difference I guess is, after you give birth you don't usually want to sell your baby, whereas every author wants to sell their freshly born book. The fact that this is actually quite difficult leads to what I'm calling Post Publication Blues. The post natal depression of the book publishing experience.  

There are so many posts on dealing with rejections from agents and publishers, but not so much advice for the writers who have managed to get books published, and still feel they have a long way to go until they 'make it'. How do you keep your morale up when it feels like you're getting nowhere fast?

Well, I've just opened Eckhart Tolle's book Stillness Speaks and read this: 

"Doing one thing at a time", is how one Zen Master defined the essence of Zen. Doing one thing at a time means to be total in what you do, to give it your complete attention. This is surrendered action - empowered action.

I think this translates as TAKE IT ONE STEP AT A TIME. This probably applies to babies and books. 

Reasons to buy my baby #PleaseRetweet

1. It is potty trained and doesn't dribble.

2. It sleeps all through the night.

3. It is well-behaved on planes

4. Apparently it's funny* (*reviewers words, not mine)

5. It's only £2.99

The ebook is out now. 

The paperback is available for preorder and will be out on 5th November!

New Home, New Novel, New Job. Old Fear.

No more internet cafés for me, I am now fully connected at home!

                

Home? Does Mallorca feel like home already? Last night on the plane back from doing a job in London, I overheard a mother explaining to her little son that they'd be staying in a hotel. I bet half the passengers would be heading off to holiday accommodation. It made me smile. Not me, I thought, I'm going home.  

Mallorca Reporter Essentials!

               

After a 25 minute wait at the airport, the bus finally came and my bus pass didn't work. I realised with dismay that I didn't have a cent on me and started to get off. The bus driver waved me on, said not to worry this time. I like my new home, I thought. I couldn't help wondering if that would ever happen in London. Perhaps, but not likely.   

                

Today is my first day with some proper structure. We've unpacked our boxes, plugged in the coffee machine and have wifi, so it's time to work.

I'm beginning a new novel set in *surprise surprise* Mallorca. It involves a hen party and takes place over five days. If you've been on any recently and had to do any ridiculous dares or challenges, I'd LOVE to hear from you!

                

First Morning Plotting

As I make notes about my characters and plot I can't help feeling a twinge of fear though. Why are you putting yourself through this again? - my inner voice whines.  This novel isn't commissioned, so I could spend a year on it and never find a publisher. It's a standard risk for writers but that doesn't make it any easier.

                

I wish I could share news about my third book, #PleaseRetweet. It was supposed to be due out this summer, but now I'm not sure. The publishers are busy and I haven't heard from them in a while. I think I'd go mad if I only had one project on the go, but luckily I have many.

                

At the moment, I'm excited about my new role as a "Mallorca Reporter". My first post Top10 Attractions in Palma de Mallorca was published in SeeMallorca this week and it made me grin from ear to ear. It's a great way of getting to know the island. 

I found out the travel magazine was looking for writers after a simple Twitter search. Social media can be very effective like that. In fact, Twitter for Writers - Not Such a Waste of Time! is the title of my talk at Winchester Literary Festival this 20th June. I'll also be running a day long Blog Workshop on 21st June, in which I'll tell writers not to blog indulgently about the minutiae of their lives...

Oops. 

I probably should practice what I preach. Then again, I've been blogging for nearly 7 years. As the song goes it's my party blog, and I'll cry write indulgent updates about my life if I want to! Or something like that. I've never been very good at remembering song lyrics.  

Kilburn Literary Festival - something for everyone!

The first ever Kilburn Literary Festival is starting this Thursday. There's everything from family friendly writing classes to erotic fiction master classes  to award winning authors to TV and Radio personalities!

You'll find me raving about social media at Develop Your Author Profile - Blog and Tweet your way to Success on Saturday 1st November. I will be squeezing as much practical advice possible in one hour, and sharing with you what I've learnt over six years of blogging and using social media. I'll help you avoid making my mistakes and give you the confidence to get started if you haven't dared dip your toe in already! If you've already got a blog but have lost your blog mojo, I aim to get you excited about it again!

The one hour workshop will cover:

• Why Blog?
• Case Studies of Successful Blogs
• How to create Engaging Content
• Set up & Design Basics
• How to use Twitter effectively
• Case Studies of Successful Twitter users

Couldn't give a monkey's bottom about blogging? No problem! Instead, head over to one of the many other workshops on offer, listen to prose & poetry readings, or show off your literary knowledge at the Pub Quiz on 4th November!

For more information and tickets. 

What to do when your book gets a 1 star review

I got a one star review on Amazon yesterday for Part One of The Temp. It caught me off guard. I was at the osteopathic clinic where I work part-time and I'd been about to show a friendly patient my book cover. That's when I saw it. 

'A load of waffle' - the reviewer had written.

            

I felt suddenly embarrassed to show the lady the webpage.

Momentarily subdued, I blamed my cold. A one star review and a bad cold all on the same day. I felt like my face was melting and I'd just been punched.  

             

It's inevitable. I'd been expecting it. As soon as you put yourself out there, people are going to judge.

          The inner voices started up at once:

           

            But don't they realise how hard I've worked to get here?

            It's not personal Emily.

            It was a free sample! They should have given it another star for being free!

            It's not going to be everyone's cup of tea.  

            But it does what it says on the tin.

            Some people are going to hate it.

            Can't I get a star for correct spelling?

            There's bound to be a typo in it somewhere.

            I spelt my name right!

            Benet? It really looks like there's a letter missing somewhere...

           

It's not a big deal really. It's only one little review on a very short section of my book. If I ever need an ego boost I've got a whole Happy Folder of Wattpad comments I've saved. They're there in case the doubts ambush me.   

            

I've got another trick too. I've just discovered it. What really makes a one star pale into insignificance is checking out the one star reviews of your favourite books.

Go on, do it.That's when it hits you how subjective it all is.

Stephen King's 11.22.63, a book I daydreamed about for days after I'd finished it, is 'contrived nonsense', my beloved Starter for Ten is 'pretentious juvenile tripe',  Donna Tartt's The Secret History, which reeled me into its dark clutches and hypnotised me, is 'a waste of time'. The Husband's Secret is 'rubbish', though personally I couldn't put it down. I could go on forever. 

Just for laughs I checked out reviews for some classics. Poor Charles Dickens gets a one star by someone who then comments, 'I can't comment yet because I haven't read it.' O-kay.     

There are books for every taste and as long as there are enough people who like reading mine I'll keep on writing! If you're a writer, I advise you to do the same!

           

Get your free download of Part One of The Temp. 

               

Serious about a writing career? Then get comfy...

I was going to write a blog about patience. I was going to start by saying writers need infinite patience because each step of the process requires months of waiting. But I've changed my mind. I've realised that unless you're planning on being a one-hit wonder, then you should NEVER be waiting.

            

So many of us writers dream of the book that will change our lives. We dream of getting an agent and signing that publishing deal. We dream of the launch and book signings and seeing it in the window display at Waterstones. For many of us the dream stops there; that one book we've poured everything into finally getting published.

             

Do you know how much money I made in royalties from my first book? I don't know the exact figure, but it certainly wasn't enough to pay more than a month's rent.

            

But why was I disappointed? My dream had been to get a book published. It had happened, so what was the problem? The problem was in actual fact my dream hadn't been about getting one book published, it had been about earning a living as a full-time writer. In my day dreams, this one little book had been enough.

            

I've learnt a lot since Shop Girl Diaries came out. I know now that for my actual dream to happen, I can't think in terms of one book. I've got to think about five, six, seven books.

            

Yesterday I found out the release dates for my new novel, The Temp. I say 'release dates' plural, because it's going to be serialised over 3 weeks, the full version launching on the 23rd October. After my predicted launch date being in August, October sounded like ten million years away. I felt impatient. I was so fed up of waiting.

            

Waiting for what though?

             

Did I now think this book was going to change my life? Was I now entertaining the possibility this book was going to generate a frenzy of excitement and sales like the Harry Potter series?

           

As much as I'd like that, I think I need to manage my expectations here. The reality is having two books published won't be enough to earn a living from writing. I'm not being negative, I'm being realistic. It's not even that bad either, because I don't want to stop writing anyway.  

I'm still going to daydream about hitting the jackpot with The Temp. But if it doesn't sell a million copies, that's fine too, because I'm in this for the long term.  

Follow @EmilyBenet

Writers and Cats - what's the deal with that?

Why do so many writers have cats?

@EmilyBenet Thought having a cat was compulsory to qualify as a writer. Even if it's an incurable outdoor type like our Hettie.
— Jacqueline Pye (@JacquelinePye) August 8, 2014

But why?

@EmilyBenet For the unconditional love and support a cat can give when the writing's bad... oh, wait, that's dogs. ;)
— Paul (@dept42) August 8, 2014

I've never had a cat and can't call myself a cat lady. The definition of a 'cat lady' varies depending if you own a cat or not. If you own a cat, you might view yourself like this:

While those less partial to cats might view you as this:

I'm less black or white. For me, cat people are the ones with little hairs on their jumpers and more to arrange before their holidays. 

My brother and his wife have cats. Once one of them jumped on the table while we were eating. 

"It's only a cat!" his wife chided, when I flinched and shooed it off. 

What I don't understand is, why are cats considered so clean when they spend half the day licking their bottoms? 

Despite not being a cat person, there is a kitten in my new novel. Amber buys him because she thinks he'll be a YouTube sensation. She hopes the advertising revenue will get her out of the rut she's in. The kitten is called Rupert and he's based on this little fellow. Isn't he the fluffy-wuffiest thing you've ever seen?* (*I don't talk like this in real life.) 

But Amber's not a writer, so that doesn't help solve the mystery of why so many writers have cats. 

It's not like they make good assistants. When I looked after my brother's cat, it woke me up at 3am every morning. By week 2 I was too exhausted to write. When I did try to write, it would wake up from its nap just to walk across my keyboard. 

Perhaps feline friends combat the loneliness of the profession? As much as I love working from home alone, there have been times when I would have enjoyed sniggering over a bad line of writing with a silent companion. You know the type: A bolt of lightning ran down her spine when she saw him...

What do you think of that, flossie? 
Miao. 

Even a cat would know how stupid that line was.

In conclusion, I've decided to go with the flow and have got myself a cat too.

I know it looks more like a sheep, but it's a rare breed you only get in Wales.

It likes water, so I sit it in a bucket by my desk.

I definitely feel more like a writer now.

I just wish I was small enough to swim in a bucket too. 

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An Alternative Author Interview

Apparently I once moaned that people always ask me the same questions in interviews. Ben Blackman, blogger and writer, decided to ask me alternative questions such as:

Q: Do you agree that the over development of crisp flavours in modern Britain has spoilt what used to be a traditional snack you knew you could rely on?

Read on if you dare....

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The Dreaded Chic-Lit Label

I guess I'm going to have to get used to being called a chic lit author. It's a shame because if you say it quickly it sounds like shit-lit.

If you're a woman and there's comedy or romance in your books, and no one gets murdered, then you'll probably be labelled a chic lit writer. 'Even if you write about serious themes,' Rosie Fiore said, at the Finchley Literary Festival last weekend. Fiore has rules to avoid the chic lit stereotypes. She'll put her main characters in credible and difficult situations, she won't give them insecurities about her body 'because women get enough of that in the media' and a man won't be the solution to all her problems, she'll need to overcome them herself. But Fiore will still be called a chit lit author because her books are commercial, and she's a woman.

Lucy-Anne Holmes wrote an interesting article in the Guardian, Chic Lit: Hate the Term. Love the Genre. She suggested that chic lit should move with the times. 'What would embracing this new wave of feminism look like in fiction?'  she muses, and suggests 'we should lose the cupcakes covers.'

Only last week someone asked me, 'what do you write?'

Well, I write lots of different things. In my short stories I've written about political protests, loneliness, madness and murder. But I knew she was talking about my novels.

'Woman's commercial fiction,' I said.

'Oh...' she said, 'you mean chic lit.'

She sounded so condescending I felt an urge to justify myself. I wanted to tell her that I didn't write about shopping, or diets, or endless lunch breaks where the main character manages to get her hair cut, buy shoes and get back to work on time. Because that's the stereotype, that's what I think of when I hear the term chic lit. 

Rosie Fiore, Finchley Literary Festival

'I know a lot of chic lit authors,' Fiore said, at the festival. 'They are strong, independent and feminists.'  I glanced around the room, hoping someone else might join me in a standing ovation. It was what I needed to hear.

The chic lit term can sound so demeaning and yet there are plenty of excellent books in this genre written by talented authors who have stories worth telling. I'm certainly going to strive to be one of them.

My job is to write the best books I can whatever the label I'm given. Yes, there'll be romance in them and comedy, and it's unlikely anyone will be murdered, but I hope people don't overlook them because of the chic lit tag. 

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Five Years of Blogging!

 

There have been highs and lows!

It's official! I've been blogging for 5 years! Happy Anniversary to me! And since everything is speeded up on social media I'm sure 5 years counts as a golden anniversary, perhaps even a diamond...

 

If you've only just joined in, let me tell you how it began. It was June 2008, a time when you needed to know html to convert an ordinary little word into a hyperlink. I was on a date with a dark, handsome stranger at the Gourmet Pizza Company on the Southbank.

 

I told him I was thinking about starting a blog about working in my Mum's chandelier shop. He, being an enthusiastic sort of bloke, assured me it was a great idea. A week later I wrote my first post. The rest is history. Well it would be if someone added it to Wikipedia.

 

There have been highs and lows on this blogging journey and I thought I'd share five of the most memorable. 

 

 

5th - SHOP GIRL BLOGGED OFF

 

When I wrote this post I was so fed up. I was worried I'd never ever get published and that I'd spend the rest of my life fending off barterers in my Mum's shop. I had no idea that a month later Salt Publishing would ask me to turn my blog into a book. If you are a writer and you feel like I did in this post, don't give up! You never know when your hard work will pay off. 

 

"I won’t be a famous novelist because I’ll be delivering a light fitting. We won’t charge for the delivery since we just want the customer to love us and not go to John Lewis. The customer won’t offer to pay for the delivery because they assume that’s what little shop people do on a Saturday night..."

Read More.

 

4th - SHOP GIRL UNDER ATTACK

 

At Stoke Newington Literary Festival, I spoke on a panel about writing in the digital age. I think it's an exciting time to be a writer. Whether it's a blog to build up a readership, a podcast to share your stories, YouTube for a book trailer for the book you self-published, because perhaps publishers weren't prepared to take a risk on you, with hard work and creativity you can really make things happen.

 

Some writers complain that the internet has eroded the filters keeping the bad writing out. But why waste time criticising other people striving to make the digital world work for them? It takes guts to put your work 'out there'. Sharing my work has been key to my progress and success as a writer, but of course I've had my ego bashed along the way. Shop Girl Under Attack is a blog post about the first 'hate mail' I ever got. If you're going to use social media, you've got to develop a thick skin.

 

"On Easter Sunday I received a mail from someone in my facebook group.
A certain young Californian with a photoshop twinkle in his eye.
'Please get a life,' he wrote, 'because the one you’re writing about isn’t that interesting.'
Oh, I thought, taken aback.
My first hate mail hadn’t come at the best of times." Read More.

 

 

3rd  - SHOP GIRL: TAKE 1, Camera, action!

 

My dream was always to become a novelist but when director Chloe Thomas asked me to write a script for a TV pilot based on my blog, I wasn't going to let the opportunity pass me by. Having a film crew in my shop and actors saying the lines I'd written was an incredible high. Although the pilot has not developed into a sitcom it remains a great moment in my blogging journey. I recommend saying 'yes' to every opportunity that comes your way and trust you'll learn as you go along!

 

“How much do you want this?” my brother had asked me, back in September.
“More than anything.”
And he’d rolled up his sleeves and launched into a speech on how to promote my blog." Read More.

 

2ND - THE BIG ADVENTURE - THE MOST MEMORABLE GUEST BLOG

 

This guest blog is definitely the most memorable. Well, it's not every day someone proposes on a blog, is it? Remember that dark, handsome stranger I was telling you about earlier...

 

"So the ShopGirl bullied me into doing a blog.

Here it is, I am real." Read More.

 

 

1st - SHOP GIRL IS LAUNCHED

 

The Book Launch of Shop Girl Diaries remains the best day of my life. I've just reread my blog post about it and tears sprung to my eyes. The publishers didn't have a budget for the launch so a group of my friends jumped in to help me organise it. I'd almost forgotten how generous people had been. Thank you again, and I hope there'll be another one soon!

 

"The Big day had come:
The Launch of 'Shop Girl Diaries'.
My nerves were momentarily eased by the successful match of my new tights with the dress.
It's those little details that really niggle.
As the Chines proverb goes, 'it's not the mountain that wears you out but the grain of sand in your shoe.'" - Read More.

 

 

A blog doesn't thrive very well alone. It needs its readers, so thank you for all your support over the last 5 years.

 

***

 

 In my workshops I aim to pass on all the things I've learnt over the years. If you feel like starting your own blog, my next Blogging for Beginners and Improvers Workshop is on Saturday 13th July.

 

Check out my Workshop Page for more information.