A Chicken goes to Copenhagen (and crosses the road with ease)

I'm ashamed to think I almost said no to my husband's invitation to go to Copenhagen for the weekend. He was there recording interviews for a documentary on Noma but said he would have free time to meet me in between. In fact, I did say no at first, my pathetic excuse being, won't it just be another cold city? Well, I'm writing this blog on the plane back, feeling utterly invigorated after my trip.

 

The truth is I've always been such a chicken. I have never travelled alone or have ever wanted to. I have never roamed across a foreign city by myself, at least not for very long. Half the reason I went travelling around South America with my friend in 2007 was because I knew if I got into any problems, at least I could speak Spanish.

 

My first approach of panic came after my first couple of hours alone. I'd been searching for the National Gallery, but my map reading skills were so poor I'd managed to walk in a huge circle and had ended up back at the Botanical Gardens. I didn't want to see plants, I wanted history and art. Mostly, I wanted to find the place I'd set out to find so I wouldn't feel this lump of failure in my chest. Not knowing what to do, I walked a little way into the gardens, but I didn't get far before a woman stopped me.

 

"Is that the exit up there?" she said, in an American accent. I said it was. I also said I was lost and did she know where the National Gallery was. It turned out she wanted to go there too. Both her map and map reading skills were superior to mine and five minutes later we'd found it. The woman was from Chicago and one of those open, friendly people who laugh easily. We had a great afternoon and ended up drinking wine together inside a lively foodie market. I met my husband later that evening, happy that I had not retreated to our apartment early.

 

 

On Day 2  my map reading was more successful. I walked until my legs ached and felt triumphant every time I found what I had been looking for. It was like a huge treasure hunt! I had never thought about visiting Denmark before and here I was alone with my map, in its beautiful clean capital city full of vibrant red brick, tiled roofs, pointed church spires and people riding about on bicycles.

 

 

I got lost again on Day 3 and felt the return of panic. A walk to the little mermaid, which should have taken twenty minutes, took me over an hour. At one point, I thought I might hit Sweden. I found her in the end. She's actually very small and doesn't really have a face, but the satisfaction for me, was in locating her.

 

The bonus of taking an hour instead of twenty minutes was that I arrived for the changing of the guards, where a band played some beautiful music. I felt a surge of positivity. It occurred to me I didn't have to spend my whole life being a bad map reader, that I could and was getting better!

 

This is the first time I've ever gone to a country where my husband has been working on a job. I'd always imagined it was going to be like that film, Lost in Translation, me hanging about in a hotel too intimidated to go out. What a boring chicken I've been!

 

After this weekend I feel really excited about life and all the countries there are to visit. Of course, Copenhagen is a great place to start if you're a scaredy cat like me. Everyone speaks brilliant English and there's a green man at every crossing. But with a bit more map reading practice, I'll soon be ready for the next difficulty level. I just wonder where he'll be called to next...

 

 

 

 

 

 

MY MONTHLY NEWSLETTER

How to Write that Novel Faster

Image from Kittybloger

A couple of months ago I felt like I had lost all self-discipline. I had a new novel to write but I wasn't getting the words down. Instead I was wasting far too much time online. In that unproductive month I must have signed over twenty online petitions, clicked on as many cute kittens and tweeted enough words for a few chapters.

 

Two things happened to get me back in gear. Firstly, I was at a party with Alix Christie, the wise and brilliant author of the upcoming Gutenburg's Apprentice, and she said to me:

 

"you must be careful you don't waste all your creative energy on social media and have nothing left for the book." That really woke me up. Social media is brilliant if you have great content to share, but it takes time and energy to create that. What would I prefer? A hundred thousand words worth of random tweets or a novel?

 

The second thing to happen was I asked my agent for a deadline. "Before the London Book Fair would be good," she said. "March?" Until I wrote Spray Painted Bananas I didn't think it was possible to write a decent draft of a novel in three months. I do now. I've found a way.

 

Writing fast isn't for everybody and some books need to be slow cooked for years. But I prefer to bash a draft out and edit later. If you wish you were writing faster, these tips might help: 

 

7 Tips for Writing Faster:  

 

 

1. Decide what is your writing goal for the week - this might be a word count, a number of chapters or to finish a particular section.

 

2. Set a realistic daily word count - it doesn't matter if it's only 100 words, what matter is that it's achievable so you won't be put off, and you will feel happy when you've completed them each day.

 

3. Don't go on social media until you've finished your daily word count - this one makes a huge difference! As soon as you go on Facebook, Twitter or your Email you're guaranteed to get distracted. When I'm feeling weak, I'll write half my word count goal, check my social networks, then switch off again for the second half.

 

4. Write DRAFT at the top of the page - it will make you feel less self-conscious. It's okay if your writing is terrible, at this point you just want to get the story down. Don't worry about editing until later.

 

5. Use post-its and a corkboard to track your chapters - useful for getting an overview of the novel and keeping on top of what you have and haven't written.

 

6. Leave the chores for your break time - put off the washing and hoovering until you need a break from writing. Doing something practical and physical will give your mind some space. Often a solution to my plot problems will come when I'm washing the dishes.

 

7. Plan what you need to write the night before - that way you're ready to get stuck in straight away the following day.

 

MY MONTHLY NEWSLETTER

Common Folk Against Death by Plastic

Packaged Croissant spotted in a Supermarket

It was an ordinary winter's day in London.  Rain swept the streets and good British folk took comfort in mugs of tea and talked, justifiably, about the weather.

 

I was in the vegetable shop looking forward to getting home. Behind me, another customer was in a hurry and pressing into my personal space. The cashier turned to her, 'Do you need a bag?'

 

In her hand was a single red pepper. She didn't think twice. 'Yes,' she said.

           

A few months ago I might not have registered this interaction let alone reacted to it. But on that windy winter's day her request flicked a switch inside me, and in my head, a voice cried 'murderers!'            

 

It took me by surprise. I even worried I might have said it out loud but her expression reassured me I hadn't. I watched her putting her red pepper in the little transparent plastic bag the cashier had given her while I waited for my change. The bag hadn't solved her problem. Next she asked for a bigger plastic bag to put the little plastic bag in since the little plastic bag had no handle. Two plastic bags for one single vegetable.     

 

'Murderers!' the voice cried again. It was the voice of millions of ghosts; the ghosts of countless marine species poisoned and suffocated by plastic. It was the Sperm Whale washed up in Spain defeated by 17kg of the stuff in its stomach. It was also proof that the message of Common Folk had hit me.            

 

If you haven't heard of Common Folk yet, that's because it only launched last month. It's the brainchild of Tina Ziegler, a Californian girl living in Spain from the art industry, and a woman I'm proud to call my sister-in-law.

 

Struck by how much waste she was creating in her everyday life, Tina sought to raise awareness about plastic pollution and created CO/FO to draw attention to our daily habits that collectively form part of the global environmental problem. Less than 10% of plastic worldwide is recycled, the rest goes to landfill, is burned or will eventually make its way to the ocean. The catastrophic effect this is having on our eco-system is captured in this powerful and beautifully shot video.

           

Although I had finally got into the habit of bringing my own bag out shopping, up until now I'd found it hard to avoid using those little bags for fruit. Responding to this problem Tina set about creating attractive and affordable 100% organic cotton bag as an alternative, and there is a range on her website available to buy.            

 

No one likes being preached at and Gandhi really got it right with his catchy line: 'Be the change you want to see in the world'. If it wasn't for seeing the founder of Common Folk in action, living the change she wants to see in the world, then I wouldn't be writing this blog and five times out of ten I'd still be forgetting my bag for life. I don't feel overwhelmed by the problem, I feel grateful I've been woken up to it so I can help.

 

 

Plastic Tina found at a beach in Palma de Mallorca

 

 

Connect with Common Folk:

 

commonfolk.eu

facebook.com/wearecofo

twitter.com/WeareCofo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Article in The Writing Platform: "My Wattpad Experience"

Extract from my article in The Writing Platform 'My Wattpad Experience'

 

"I was stuck in a rut. My blogging was sluggish and I’d been working on a novel for two years with no end in sight. I was moaning to my brother over Skype about the slow path my career was taking, when he said: “So write a novel on Wattpad.” He told me his girlfriend was reading a book on the online platform which had racked up millions of hits and the author had just secured a three book deal with a big publisher. According to him, Wattpad was the way forward." Read More.

Read my novel Spray Painted Bananas on Wattpad.

All I want for Christmas is an Rr

My nephew received a letter from Santa yesterday, reassuring him of his existence. He also received a certificate to prove he had made the NICE List.

 

"I am aware that you are now seven and other children might be telling you I'm not real..." Santa wrote. "But to keep the Christmas magic alive and help me get all the Christmas presents to everyone, YOU MUST BELIEVE... Christmas magic is like the wind, you can't see it, but it's real." At that moment, my nephew reported that a huge gust of wind had banged against the window, making the whole family jump. So there you are, proof that Santa exists.

 

My husband's nerd magazine (Focus) is a little more cynical. It says that to deliver presents to 200 million children in 800 million homes spread over 3x10¹³m² of land, Father Christmas would have to go at such a speed that the air resistance would vaporise him and all the presents with him.

 

Back to the magic! I say. Since magic is the only way I'm going to get what I want for Christmas. You'll never guess what it is, so I'll tell you. I want to be able to roll my Rs. Do you know how humiliating it is to be half Spanish and half Welsh, and be unable to roll one's Rs? I doubt it.

 

I want to be able to shout out: Rrrround the Rrrrugged Rrrrock a Rrragged Rrrascal Rrran! and Erre con erre cigarro, erre con erre barril, rapido ruedan los carros, por los rieles del ferrocarril!

 

All my life I've avoided talking about perros. DOGS. And burros. DONKEYS. It was hard because sometimes I really wanted to talk about these creatures. If I wanted yummy churros... well, I just pointed. It's not that people can't understand me, they can, but when I was little the other kids laughed at me. And they laughed into my teens too. "Say dog, Emily! Say dog, Emily!" I remember bursting into tears because I was SO frustrated. I tried, but I just couldn't roll them. Years later I watched a YouTube video with exercises for my tongue. But after my mother in law happened to talk to a therapist one day, who said that at my age it was unlikely I'd ever learn, I gave up.  

 

To be honest, I thought I'd stop caring, until a grown up laughed at me the other day. Then it brought it all up. I felt stupid. I also felt sure I sounded stupid to everyone too. Why else would they find it so funny? Was I destined to sound stupid all my life?

 

So that's what I want for Christmas please, Father Christmas. I'd like to roll my Rs so when your sleigh lifts off I can shout ARRRRRRRIBA! And if the magic bit isn't real and the nerd magazine is right, please can you slow down a bit so you don't get vaporised. Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

Other posts you might enjoy:

 

I Married a Foreigner

A Flawed Character

Turning 30... or AM I?

 

 

Blogging for Beginners eBook Launch

Blogging for Beginners is now available to download from Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com

About the Book

Whether you're an individual or a business, a blog is an extremely effective tool for developing your online presence and reaching a global audience.

It's a dynamic platform which you can use to share your creativity, advice, services and skills. You don't need to be technically-minded to have a blog. All you need is an internet connection and a couple of spare hours in your week. Anyone can blog. That said, you don’t want to settle for just any old blog that you'll get bored of!

Blogging for Beginners poses the questions you should ask before you begin and all the information you need to get started. The book is packed with tips on how to set up your blog, develop its identity, choose content, gain a readership and increase blog traffic. 

Extract from my article in The New Writer and my new e-book Blogging for Beginners:

"When I was 11 years old, I wrote in my diary, 'I've started a new novel today which I'm going to get published.' I believed that to get a book published all I had to do was write one. It was a shock to discover this was not the case.

I later learnt that the book had to be brilliant. Not only that but it had to land on an agent’s desk at the exact moment they were savouring a fresh cup of coffee, the sun was shining and they were feeling a profound love towards all humanity. Rejection was inevitable. If you were very lucky, you would receive a personal letter, and only then to tell you that your book was rubbish but your font had potential.

Patience is not my greatest virtue. By 24 I was fed up of waiting for someone to pluck my work out of the slush pile and bless it with their approval. All I wanted was to write and be read. So I began a blog about the only thing I really knew anything about; working in my Mum's eccentric chandelier shop. At first, my readership consisted of a few friends and relatives, but gradually my following grew. I took my weekly deadline very seriously and edited as ruthlessly as if it were to be printed in a national newspaper.

Six months after I began, Salt Publishing got in touch with me through Facebook and told me they loved the blog. More importantly, they commissioned the book Shop Girl Diaries. Since then I've contributed articles on social media to magazines and guidebooks and I run blog workshops in the UK.

My experience has been positive, however a successful blog doesn't happen overnight. Blogging takes time, perseverance and often won't pay a penny directly or for some time, yet, if you stick with it, it can reap wonderful rewards. Having a regular blog increases your chances of your work becoming visible while making you accessible to those who might be interested in it. You also become part of a huge interactive community which can stimulate and support you in whatever your blog mission is. Blogging for Beginners is not just aimed at writers. This is for anyone wanting to be pro-active and embrace the blogosphere."

Download Blogging for Beginners from Amazon for just £1.92 

My next Blogging and Social Networking Workshop will take place on Saturday 25th January in London, SE1.

For more details and bookings, visit my Blog Workshops Page. Places are limited!

The Writing Platform - Authors, Alternatives, Books and Blog Tips #TWP13

On Monday I attended The Writing Platform mini fair and conference for writers. I think all writers should go to something like this once a year for an injection of energy and optimism and to be reminded of all the alternative ways of getting their projects off the ground. Alright, so Patrick Hussey did mention that crowd funding was a bit tricky... virtually impossible... don't embark on it lightly... but still, it's good to know it's an option! Just don't expect millions of pledges if you've only got 21 twitter followers. 22 should do it.

'My Writing Life' was the topic of the first panel and I was pleased to hear that discipline plays a key role in the authors' success. Better discipline than luck, right? I learnt that Philip Hensher writes between 6am - 10.30am to avoid interruptions, Nikesh Shukla scribes for two hours before his day job and Polly Courtney imposes a technical blackout in the afternoons to get her words down.

Can we learn to be disciplined? I think so, if we want it enough. It's just hard to know where to start sometimes. Personally I'm a big fan of lists and breaking everything down into manageable steps. Last week I made a timetable with a daily word count target and I wrote more than I'd done in ages without any extra stress. You could even use spreadsheets à la Polly Courtney.

 

It makes so much sense to me that Polly uses spreadsheets. She's so productive and her drive is inspiring. She's mostly known for dumping Harper Collins over their 'girly covers' after working through a three book deal with them. What I didn't know until I met her at The Writing Platform is that her first novel Golden Handcuffs was self-published, and it was the success of this book that attracted Harper Collins in the first place. Polly's story is proof that it pays to be pro-active. These day publishers are much more likely to take a risk on a writer if they've already built a readership and gained credibility. For some writers, becoming their own publisher is a step worth taking.

The 'Get Noticed' panel was the last of the day. I was on it because the success I've had as a writer is the result of having a well-developed online presence. Shop Girl Diaries began as a blog, my online novel Spray Painted Bananas has racked up over a million hits on Wattpad and led to me signing with Laura Longrigg at MBA literary agency. I'm a big believer in putting your work out there and increasing your chances of getting lucky.



Nicola Barr, Anna Lewis, Emily Benet, Minna Salami and Donna Hancox

Our panel only lasted forty minutes but I could have gone on for hours, and I do in my Blogging and Social Networking Workshops! In fact, now that I'm not worried about hogging the microphone I thought I'd leave you with a few tips.

You might also want to read To Blog or Not To Blog, That is the question.

BLOG TIPS

1. Decide on a clear concept for your blog -  just because you're a writer doesn't mean you have to write about writing!

2. Consider how your blog might add value to your readers - is it entertaining? informative? insightful?

3.  Be consistent - both in your theme and your voice!

4. Post regularly - once a week is great, once every two weeks might be more manageable.

5. Keep an eye on blogs you like - what do you like about them? what are they doing so well?

6. Visual appeal - use multi media, add relevant photographs, illustrations, videos  

7. Integrate your online presence -  make sure your blog link is on all your social networks and your social networks can be reached through your blog.

8. Spread the word - add your blog link to your email signature, mention new posts in your facebook status, tweet your posts using bite sized headlines and don't forgot word of mouth.

9. Don't spam - tell people about your blog but don't use social media solely for self-promotion. It won't work and you'll get on everyone's nerves. Engage, engage, engage!

My Blogging for Beginners e-book is coming out soon, sign up to my newsletter for updates and news of upcoming workshops.

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