Covid-19 Diaries - Phase 1 - Ten People Walk into a Bar (No Joke)

The Balearic Islands was promoted to phase one on Monday. Phase one of Spain's four step plan to return to normality, that is.  

What does it mean? What can we do?

Confusion reigned for a while as we tried to work it out.

I think I've got the main points sorted:

We can meet ten people at a bar at any time of day.

By bar, I mean bar TERRACE which can only be used at 50% capacity.

We can meet ten people at a bar but we can't sit on the beach.

We can meet ten people at a bar at any time of day but we can only exercise at certain hours of the day. (Adults 06.00 t0 10.00 and 20.00 to 23.00).

We can also meet these ten people in a house. Any house. (I think.)

In non-bar news: Shops under 400sqm can open and customers should make an appointment. 

Mask are compulsory on public transport.

Back to the bar news: Meeting ten people in a bar isn't compulsory but recommended to help kickstart the economy. 

Those who find themselves in a bar should celebrate having understood the regulations of phase one.

I'm embarrassed to say I have not met anyone at a bar yet and have yet to help the local economy.

Instead I did something I had been daydreaming about doing once lockdown relaxed: 

A PICNIC IN THE MOUNTAIN!

We were four adults and two toddlers. There was no one else about.

After being so excited about the prospect of going 'uppamantin' our toddler seemed grumpy. When we paused to set her down on the ground she tried to walk off the side of the mountain, pointing and shouting, 'Aguita!' at the sea view. Clearly she would have preferred the beach. To be fair, it was bloody hot.  

She cheered up later and the two little friends rekindled their friendship. They explored barefoot, showed each other snails and swung on hammocks rigged at different levels from two trees.

Meanwhile the adults caught up over wine - why only one bottle? - and ate shredded chicken and homemade bread and hummus and carrot sticks.

Oh, I felt pleased that the bars of Mallorca were making so many people happy that day, but at Phase One, the mountain was the only kind of bar for me.  

Don't worry. There's still time to help the local economy.  *Cheers!* 

___

Escape this brave new world with some brand new fiction.  My new novel Tipping Point is out now!

Covid-19 Diaries - Lockdown Day 56 - Love in the time of the coronavirus

It was our 9 year wedding anniversary on Thursday - another special event celebrated under lockdown.  We spent the morning trying to remember where we had been for each one. 

Beautiful Sienna for the first... a British seaside for the second? Was it two years ago that I was 8 and a half month pregnant and we moved into an empty flat and had a picnic on the carpet?

We pieced the memories together. For each one I'd made an effort to make a personalised card. There had been collages and paintings, pop-ups and puzzle cards. Not this year, though.

As I settled down to put Sol to sleep in the evening, I thought: next year we'll do things properly. Next year we'll celebrate the birthdays, father and mothers' day, and anniversaries that had quietly passed by during confinement.

Sol was quietly snoring. I replaced the side of her cot and left her room.

As I passed by our bedroom I noticed my flowery dress had been laid out on the bed. There was a note beside it that said: Put this on and follow the signs! :)

Feeling a mixture of uncertainty and excitement, I did just that. On the back of the front door, another Post-It read: This way to Sitges!

Sitges was where we got married. Friends and family had come from all over the world to join us for a party in a beautiful rustic villa. There had been sun and rain and thunder. There had been moving speeches, salsa dancing and rum in the hot tub.

Along the corridor outside the flat, there was another note with an arrow. I headed up the stairs, my smile growing with every step. This way to London. This way to Mallorca.

I reached the apartment on the top floor. It belongs to a Swedish couple who use it for holidays. The key was in the door. Clearly my husband had asked them a favour.

Candles glowed on the steps up to the terrace. I picked up another Post- It. Up the stairs for a taste of our future!

My husband was waiting for me at the top with a bottle of champagne and a table laid out for dinner. His happy guileless grin was the same one I'd fallen for twelve years earlier in a bar in Camden Town. He hadn't needed to wait until next year to make things special.

It was perfect. It was love in the time of lockdown. It was an anniversary I wouldn't forget. 

It was also a little windy so after our meal we cuddled up under a blanket and beneath the full moon we listened to old songs and laughed and reminisced.

And we toasted to love and imagination and our future together.

We also toasted to my new novel Tipping Point! 

Finally, I can share it. 

TippingPoint is inspired by my love of multi-character storytelling, and books by Liane Moriarty and Deborah Moggach. The e-book is out now and the print book will be released next month, lockdown permitting. 

It goes a little something like this:

George and Ellen have retired to sunny Mallorca. Social butterfly Ellen is itching to make yacht-owning friends while George's heart is set on an isolated farmhouse in the country. In fact, now that they're no longer living busy London lives, they're beginning to realise they have very different ideas of happiness.

Private investigator, Salva, specialises in cases of adultery. That's why it's particularly embarrassing that he didn't realise his long-term girlfriend has been cheating on him. He has no time to nurse a broken heart since his family are the victims of a property scam they urgently need him to solve. 

Robyn Chase is giving talks on her self-help book No More Toxic Relationships - 7 Years, 7 Lessons. She's finding it awkward being a relationship guru when her own boyfriend is avoiding her.

The sun is shining in Mallorca and everything looks beautiful. But the residents of one particular apartment block are about to discover it all might be too good to be true.

Buy Tipping Point Online. 

Note: For those who would rather not buy from Amazon, please get in touch to buy direct. In the future, I hope to have a smooth direct sales system in place! Thank you.  

Note 2: No, you're memory isn't failing you! I did change the title last minute from Melting Point to Tipping Point!

Covid-19 Diaries - Lockdown Day 43 - a big day out for the kids

One day we'll go to the park, one day we'll see friends, one day we'll go up a mountain, one day we'll go outside...

"Today is ONE DAY!" I told my toddler, excitedly. "We're going to the sea!"

She looked at me, unsure.  

"We're going on an adventure! Sol and mummy! Outside!"

A smile spread slowly across her face and she started to turn around in circles.

My stomach was hurting with anticipation. She hadn't been outside the apartment block for six weeks. I had been to the supermarket twice and the second time I'd been stopped by the police. I felt nervous about what awaited us. I worried how we would be able to keep the 1-2 metre social distancing rules with other children running about.

The Rule is: 1 adult, 1 hour, maximum 1 kilometre from home.

It had been so long since I'd prepared the nappy bag. I packed an apple, corn cakes, and a change of clothes. The last thing I wanted was hunger or a poo cutting short our maiden voyage.

Sol seemed surprised when, rather than peer through the grills of the apartment block gate, I took out the keys and unlocked it. I carried her through the small kids' play park she wasn't allowed to play in, and set her down on the pavement beyond.

She started to point excitedly.  A dog walker was approaching with a fluffy white dog. Her joy was contagious and he gave her a big smile as he passed.

Next, a car sped by.

"Beep-beep!" Sol cried. "Beep-beep!" 

I'd forgotten she hadn't seen any in six weeks.

As we turned the corner, we saw them... Children! Little children at the water's edge. Some were digging, some were splashing, some were simply staring out at sea. High-pitched giggles filled the air.  

Sol ignored all of them. She knew what she wanted. As soon as we'd crossed to an open space, she walked straight into the water fully clothed. For a moment I worried about her getting sunburnt if I took off her t-shirt. But then I noticed the plump baby sitting in just her nappy nearby, looking very pleased with herself. I threw caution to the wind.

I took off Sol's soggy clothes and let her enjoy herself in the full glorious nude. She loved every minute.  After her swim and her apple, we headed back home, stopping on the way back to stare at a big black cat.  The experience was so stimulating that she was unable to nap. Her face glowed for the rest of the day.  

And I feel like shouting I'M NOT TAKING THIS FOR GRANTED!

They say from the 2nd May, everyone will be entitled to exercise in the fresh air. I can't wait. This is a tough time. It's frustrating for the 14 and 15 year olds who aren't grouped in with the other children. It's demoralising for the group of seniors that would normally be at that beach, walking up and down chatting, or reading the paper with their feet in the sand.

I also think of what my neighbour told me yesterday, of a poor man facing lockdown in his car. No home. Just a car and weeks of waiting. A man who probably has no legal papers and little money and who can't risk getting caught by police for going for a walk. So he sits in his car and he waits.

Everyone hopes things go back to normal. But I'm not so sure our normal was so wonderful. After the lockdown lifts, let's strive for better than normal. Let's show solidarity with each other like never before.   

 Thanks so much for reading. Get in touch on my Facebook Author Page!  

Continue reading blog posts from the Lockdown:

Lockdown Day 41 - Important announcements

Lockdown Day 39 - when we all almost lost our heads

Lockdown Day 36 - the world is my draining board

Lockdown Day 32 - what episode are you in?

Lockdown Day 30 - Cardboard Joy

Lockdown Day 36 - Be Bold

Or, escape the lockdown with a copy of The Hen Party - set in the beautiful island of Mallorca! 

Covid-19 Diaries - Lockdown Day 39 - when we all almost lost our heads

Millipedes make terrible pets. They're either curled up out of reach on the ceiling in the stairwell or dead on the floor. We tell our toddler they are sleeping.

The woodlice are sleeping too. The snail with the broken shell is also asleep.

"Wakey! Wakey!" Sol says. But they do not wake up.

We make millipedes out of egg boxes and name them Milly and Molly. We make them a house out of a cardboard box and feed them plastic grapes. They fail to thrive. On Day 2 Milly loses her head.

Milly & Molly pose outside their mansion

We all nearly lost our heads yesterday when the news announced that the hotly awaited walk for our children from 27th April had translated into: children will only be allowed out to accompany an adult to the supermarket.

The new ruling was supposed to provide Spain's kids, who have been confined for 6 weeks, some relief. As in fresh air, natural light and space to move. We have a terrace and an empty communal area, but some kids, especially in the cities, have nothing. 

How did going to the supermarket count as getting fresh air? Since when did going to the shop in a car count as getting exercise? How did letting touchy-feely little kids into a possibly contagious environment sound like a good idea to anyone?

It was hopeless. There would be no change on 27th April. We weren't going to take our toddler to a supermarket. It wouldn't give  her or us any relief. She was too little for gloves and masks. She would be frustrated at not being to explore the aisles or touch anything.   

The mums in my Whatsapp group sounded like they had reached the end of their tether. They were crushed, angry... reaching for the wine. Even the calmest were starting to wobble.

Notices were passed around to  bang pots in protest at 19.00 from our balconies.

"It's not official," my husband kept saying. 

I echoed his words in my mums' group. I said no one was allowed to panic just yet. Really, I was telling myself. 

That evening, the government amended the rule. Children would be allowed out for a walk from the 27th April. There was a huge sense of a relief. 

We still don't know what the restrictions will be. We don't know how long they will be allowed out or how far from the house they will be able to walk. 

The daydream of going outside as a family will remain a daydream. It's bound to be one adult per child. That's fair, considering everyone else who can't leave the house. 

I hope people won't resent kids being allowed out. We were all kids once, and at least as adults we understand what's going on. 

Sol doesn't understand. 

"One day," I say, when she asks about going to the park, seeing her friends, going up the mountains.   

I don't know if it will be me or her papi accompanying her on Sunday. It doesn't matter. What matters is she has a lovely outing... and if it's not too much to ask, that there are at least some insects awake to say hello on her journey around the block!

Thanks for reading! You can find me on my Facebook Author Page or on Instagram.  

Continue reading blog posts from the Lockdown:

Lockdown Day 36 - the world is my draining board

Lockdown Day 32 - what episode are you in?

Lockdown Day 30 - Cardboard Joy

Lockdown Day 36 - Be Bold

Or, escape the lockdown with a copy of The Hen Party - set in the beautiful island of Mallorca! 

Covid-19 Diaries - Lockdown Day 36 - The world is my kitchen draining board

This is not a political blog so I'm absolutely not going to mention that I recently asked Google whether Trump was a psychopath. Neither will I share that Google requested a more challenging question.

It's not a political blog so I will not mention that I'm disgusted by Spanish politicians using a pandemic in which 20,000 nationals have already died, to bitch at each other in an attempt to further their careers and divisive political agendas.

No, I shall not mention megalomaniacs and egos so big they could sink continents.

From now on, I must limit my newsfeed because I have had a HUGE REALISATION.

It's this:

THE WORLD IS MY KITCHEN DRAINING BOARD.

On a good day. 

It will never be tidy. It will never be completely clear. Even when I think I've achieved the impossible, a little glimmer will catch my eye and I will find a spoon lurking in the depth of the cutlery holder. Even when I've wiped that spoon and put it away and I think I have finally done it, as I back out of the kitchen I will notice in horror that I've completely overlooked my toddler's high chair where more crusty utensils are begging to be washed up, re-starting the whole process.

I am not going to give up trying to clear my kitchen draining board, but I have decided I shall do it without the impatience. I will strive to make the world around me a better place, but I'm not going to turn into an angry bitter person while I'm doing it. How we react to the world may be the only choice we really have. 

And now let me share news of my WALK. Yes, yesterday I decided that I would walk to the supermarket. It's 20 minutes away and I'd been delaying it so I would make the most use of it, buying as much as possible. Although we had done a big shop a week earlier, we had run out of milk and other basics. I got five minutes down the road and was stopped by a policeman.

"Have you got a vehicle?" he said.

"Ye-es..."

"You've won yourself a walk up until here. Now go back for your car."

I felt shaken, rather than annoyed. I had thought I was allowed to walk to the supermarket or the bank. I felt a stab of irritation on the way home as I encountered two dog walkers. WHAT ABOUT MY TODDLER? LET ME WALK MY TODDLER!

A few hours later I started to receive excited messages from fellow mums. "Children will be allowed out from the 27th!!" 

We turned on the news to hear the president speak. I imagined myself in the 1940s crowding around the transistor radio during wartime. Spain has one of the strictest lockdown in the world. The restrictions and limitations will continue, however it looks like from the 27th April, children will be able to go outside for a short walk. Possibly only at a certain time. For instance between 12.00 and 14.00... when Sol naps! 

Thanks for reading! You can find me on my Facebook Author Page or on Instagram.  

Read last post... Covid-19 Diaries - Lockdown Day 32 - What episode are you in?

Covid-19 Diaries - Lockdown Day 32 - What episode are you in?

But Mum, I've been spooning sand for 32 days...
You sure I should keep going?

I feel like I'm in one of those 'filler' episodes. You know the ones when the pace slows down and nothing much seems to happen. The sort written by exhausted script writers who finish up their plotting session with a half-hearted 'whatever, that'll do.'

We watched one last night. It was episode 5 of season 3 of Westworld. It's the only show we're following and released once a week so we can't even binge watch it which, in these circumstances, is probably for the best.

One of the characters is given a pill called 'genre' and spends the whole episode looking around him in slow-mo, thinking, what's going on?  

Nothing, that's what. 

There was clever lighting and lots of music, but no progression of the story. 

What we needed was an old or new character appearing to inject some excitement. A change of pace. Some fresh and engaging scenery. SOME PARK SWINGS. A sheep to feed. The seaside. A walk around the bloody block.

Oh, pause it a second... 

I just received a message from a mother of 2 under two's. She reports that her 'Easter Present Campaign' had been a surprising success. It had involved all the neighbours in her apartment block coming up with homemade gifts for each other and leaving them on each other's doorstep. 

Her little toddler had been thrilled to receive a drawing from another toddler. A couple of teenagers had also joined in, unearthing some of their old favourite children's books for her. All her neighbours had also encouraged her to leave the flat and spend some time in the communal area with her kids in the fresh air, something not previously condoned. 

After reading her positive message I realise I'm not STUCK in episode 5, after all. 

This dull feeling will pass. Tomorrow episode 6 will begin and though the new characters may be a woodlice and a spider rather than a human friend, and the change of scenery might be a tent in the living room decorated with scarf; there's no reason it can't be a good episode. 

In fact, I'm going to make sure it's a good one.

Thanks for reading! You can find me on my Facebook Author Page or on Instagram.  

Read previous entry Covid-19 Diaries - Lockdown 30 - Cardboard Joy

Covid-19 Diaries - Lockdown Day 30 - Cardboard Joy

"Spain relaxes lockdown..." say the international papers. 

Have we?

Gosh, that sounds nice. We still can't go outside for a walk, though. More importantly, I still can't walk the toddler. I see people in the UK posting pictures of lush green parks and river scenes and I think, Whaaat? Lockdown is easy if you can go out for walks!  But I know it's not easy. I know mostly families are cooped up. Some more cooped than others.

I was reading an article in El Pais about entire families confined to a bedroom. A mother with a 2 and a 4 year old in a bedroom for thirty days. A mother, father, and two preteen kids sharing one room with a bunk bed. It made me cry. The worst bit is that even after lockdown they will still be living in one bedroom...

Meanwhile, all across the island there are luxury villas lying empty, because we live in a painfully unequal world. Possibly the construction workers allowed back to work today, despite uncertainty about how on earth they'll keep a coronavirus safety distance between them, are building more fabulous dwellings for people who may or may not spend any time in them.

Never mind about the rich. How much would I sacrifice for a more equal world? Would I give up my terrace during lockdown for another family? I like to think so. In the end, we can't expect people to do what we wouldn't. We all have to take some responsibility for the world we live in.   

Do I sound grumpy? I probably need to be walked more often. In fact I did go out today. My second outing in four weeks. I went to the chemist. I saw three police cars in the space of three minutes. The chemist was closed, so I walked back worried that I would be stopped and I would have no receipt to prove my visit.

The highlight of my day came in the afternoon after a few hours at my desk. I walked into the living room to discover my husband had made our toddler a guitar out of cardboard. He has rediscovered his love of guitar playing during lockdown and Sol loves it. She was so excited she was getting her own guitar that she broke into a highly expressive and unintelligible babble, gesturing with her hands, and making certain I understood how brilliant it all was. 

It was wonderful to witness. I sat down on the floor beside her and she gave me a big hug and I thought I'm never buying a plastic toy again...

I also thought, I have the greatest lockdown team ever. This is going to be alright. 

One day we will be able to walk around the block and we will love every minute of it. Until then we will make cardboard instruments and deconstruct cardboard faces and paint empty toilet rolls, and bury treasure in tubs of sand and sing and dance and write and create and feel gratitude for the freedom of our minds to imagine and muster a surprisingly rich life within the confines of four walls.    

Thanks for reading! You can find me on my Facebook Author Page or on Instagram.  

Read previous entry Covid-19 Diaries - Lockdown 26 - Be Bold