Wednesday 13 May 2020

Covid-19 Diaries - Phase 1 - Ten People Walk into a Bar (No Joke)

The Balearic Islands was promoted to phase one on Monday. Phase one of Spain's four step plan to return to normality, that is.  

What does it mean? What can we do?

Confusion reigned for a while as we tried to work it out.

I think I've got the main points sorted:

We can meet ten people at a bar at any time of day.

By bar, I mean bar TERRACE which can only be used at 50% capacity.

We can meet ten people at a bar but we can't sit on the beach.

We can meet ten people at a bar at any time of day but we can only exercise at certain hours of the day. (Adults 06.00 t0 10.00 and 20.00 to 23.00).

We can also meet these ten people in a house. Any house. (I think.)

In non-bar news: Shops under 400sqm can open and customers should make an appointment. 

Mask are compulsory on public transport.

Back to the bar news: Meeting ten people in a bar isn't compulsory but recommended to help kickstart the economy. 

Those who find themselves in a bar should celebrate having understood the regulations of phase one.

I'm embarrassed to say I have not met anyone at a bar yet and have yet to help the local economy.

Instead I did something I had been daydreaming about doing once lockdown relaxed: 


We were four adults and two toddlers. There was no one else about.

After being so excited about the prospect of going 'uppamantin' our toddler seemed grumpy. When we paused to set her down on the ground she tried to walk off the side of the mountain, pointing and shouting, 'Aguita!' at the sea view. Clearly she would have preferred the beach. To be fair, it was bloody hot.  

She cheered up later and the two little friends rekindled their friendship. They explored barefoot, showed each other snails and swung on hammocks rigged at different levels from two trees.

Meanwhile the adults caught up over wine - why only one bottle? - and ate shredded chicken and homemade bread and hummus and carrot sticks.

Oh, I felt pleased that the bars of Mallorca were making so many people happy that day, but at Phase One, the mountain was the only kind of bar for me.  

Don't worry. There's still time to help the local economy.  *Cheers!* 


Escape this brave new world with some brand new fiction.  My new novel Tipping Point is out now!

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